Derober

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~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

John:
If you don’t know, Katy Perry is the chick that sings ‘I kissed a girl.’ That whole song is true by the way. All girls are about a quarter lesbian. I know you’re thinking, ‘what does a hot celebrity blogger know about lesbians?’
I don’t have time to write that book right now but take my word for it, your girlfriend is curious and she’s ready to act out on her impulses with another hot chick, me, and motel in Van Nuys. Just sayin.’

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John:
The Derobers still don’t know who Aubrey O’Day is. Anybody who shows up to an event with a clown-stained toy dog really isn’t worth knowing. My dad taught me that. But she has two assets that cannot be overlooked. Aubrey is a one trick pony for sure. But that’s a helluva’ trick.

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Katie Price is lucky I have an insatiable thirst for tits. It’s a weakness–like heroin addiction. Eight years ago I touched my first boob and I’ve been chasing that unobtainable dragon(s) ever since. I swear when Derober banned Jordan from our sight some weeks ago we meant it God damnit, but after these new pictures came to light I feel an obligation to over-rule our own sentence. Congrats, Katie, welcome back to the winning way.

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Ex-American Idol and current new dad, ahhhh, Clay Aiken officially announced in an interview with People that he is gay. In an unrelated story I just announced that cancer is bad for you. True story. I can only imagine the interview started out with one giant uncomfortable silence as Clay and the interviewer sat staring sarcastically at each other. After an intense standstill Clay quietly uttered, “Yep…pretty much.” And that was that. Done and done.

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