Derober

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Kim Kardashian is to Wonderwoman what Tom Cruise is to normal. It just doesn’t fit. It’s like trying to cross pollinate my left arm with a toaster oven. Just a hybrid that should never see the light of day. Anyways, it’s Halloween time again boys and girls. That special time of year where scantily clad ladies line up to meet my all my erotic desires. And just in case any of you beautomous babes are wondering what my secret fetish is this year lets just say that Mr. Ed used to be my favorite television show–wink wink. I wish all of you a barely legal and less than safe Happy Halloween. Love and kisses.

The Bitch

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Last Night, the Derobers sat around drinking Evan Williams and throwing hatchets at Bob ‘the Bitch’. Just as Leo struck a glancing blow on Bob’s knee cap, he turned and said, “I wonder how many times we’ve killed Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt since we started Derober?” We’re about to find out…

It all started over a year ago when we saw Heidi and Spencer having a good time together. We hate when they have fun. It just seemed so natural to have them walking with death. It felt good.

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We kept flirting with the idea…

Then one day it happened. Darby was tired of waiting. The following little diddy was titled, “God I Hate You”

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After that, there was no turning back. We made Heidi and Spencer our own little Kenny from South Park…

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Then things just sorta’ spun out of control…

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We hoped you enjoyed Spencer and Heidi Die as much as we enjoyed killing them. Happy Halloween!
-The Derobers

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The Derobers wish everybody a very unsafe, horrible, mutilated, please-die, Halloween!

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John:
Sophie Monk went to her agent’s office to pick up the script for her next film, Almost Hardcore. I think the title works well here. But is Sophie Monk so popular that she gets hounded at her talent agency? The answer is a resounding NO. Heres how it went down:
Sophie Monk wants the powers-that-be in Hollywood to think she is getting offers to work. So she tipped off the paparazzi and had her agent give her any old script off his shelf, in this case, Almost Hardcore. Surprisingly, she loved the script and was sad to hear that it was already filmed 20 years ago and called for the lead woman to have “a healthy bush.”

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Awwee eveebody, wook at da baby boy. I’ll admit with a name like Zuma Nesta Rock how could this baby go wrong? It’s the kind of name that screams, “If my band fails I’m totally down for hardcore porn.” In fact, off the top of my head only Erwin Rommel and Leroy Jenkins are stronger names than Zuma Nesta Rock. So cudos to you Gwen, for being bat-sh#t crazy enough to conjure up a name like that for your own baby; and not just for a stuffed animal you call your imaginary friend.

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