Attempted kidnapping of Suri Cruise

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Darby Gunpowder:
Suri and her gypsy mother, Katie, were chased down a Brentwood street by aliens. There is no evidence to back this up, but they started running like they were on fire for no reason at all. My best educated guess is Xenu sent 2 aliens back in time to kidnap Katie and Suri for a one gazillion Fladalions (= $3,043,000,000,000 US dollars) ransom. Katie’s tubby Galactic Confederacy soldiers (bodyguards) couldn’t even keep up. I hope they escaped the clutches of Xenu this week!!

Update: There was no attempted kidnapping of Katie and Suri Cruise. However the photos of Suri smiling and running do temporarily disprove her being a robot. That is, until we find out there is a more advanced version of the T-2000.

Comments (3) “Attempted kidnapping of Suri Cruise”

baobyOctober 9, 2008 @ 6:38 pm

up to now,I read so many gossips about Katie and Suri Cruise at the tall dating site___ __by many famous models,they have kinds of views there,like that not only pretty chicks like to chat there,but also many famous stars , celebrity like going that websit.

Xenu08 Press SecretaryOctober 13, 2008 @ 10:17 pm

Update: Xenu has put galactic time warp kidnapping on the back burner for now. He’s to involved in his run for the presidency in 2008. Learn more at

Suri's dadNovember 27, 2009 @ 7:34 pm

Suri is a tard and so is Katie. Just ignore them and they will go away. Far…far…away.

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