Derober

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John:
Holly Madison was spotted at the Foxtail in Hollywood sucking on some random guy while Hef looked on, presumably helpless because his legs don’t do what his brain tells them to. The Derobers have put together a list of the top 3 suspects contending for Holly’s affection. We’re sure it’s one of the 3 people above if not all. Well get back to you as this story develops. In the meantime, enjoy the photos of Holly below ’cause she’s hot. And yes, that’s Holly grociery shopping in one of those photos. Don’t even tell me that’s not sexy as hell.

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Darby Gunpowder:
Remember when gas was $.99/gallon, The Soviet Union was communist, Spencer Pratt didn’t exist, and Hayden Panettiere was adorable and didn’t have opinions? Aahhh the good ol’ days….
Our first post on Derober featured Hayden Panettire because she was wearing a bikini and looked so hot and innocent. The world has watched Hayden grow up from the cute little coach’s daughter in Remember the Titans to indestructible cheerleader on Heroes -and we have been disappointed on so many levels. First, she never grew the boobs I’m still waiting for. Second, she eats whales. Third, she’s phoning in her performance on Heroes this season. And finally, she’s assembling her appearance in a Samantha Ronson meets Arnold Palmer backup singer motif, and it smells horrible.

Update: I’m not really sure how I can sit on my high horse and pass judgment on celebrities all day, but no ones told me to stop, so I’ll keep doing it.

I don’t know which is more embarrassing, going out in public looking like Hayden did or forgetting the lyrics to the National Anthem at a professional basketball game….? You be the judge.

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Darby Gunpowder:
Attention America: if you don’t vote, you will be muzzled.

Jessica Alba is yet another celebrity who is trying to sway the young vote for the upcoming election. The organization, Declare Yourself* managed to talk Jessica into wearing a Hannibal Lector mask for their latest ad (PR stunt).

Dumb. Movie stars, musicians, reality stars, house pets and The Jonas Brothers have no business in politics. We used to live in a country For the people, by the people and now we live in a pop-culture based society (you’re on a celebrity gossip blog right now reading this) where it’s For the people, by the celebrity that told me think this way because I’m a lemming. Yet another reason our country is going down the toilet. It’s sad that our next president will be elected by “popular” vote, not because of his stance on major issues, but because it’s en vogue. We have literally regressed back to 6th grade and thousands of ignorant votes will be cast for the same reason you bought the same pair of jeans that J-Lo was wearing -she’s popular. I am not referring to McCain or Obama specifically at all -I’m just looking at the bigger picture. I don’t care either way because I am Jamaican today (you should see the heat I’m packin’).

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*Declare Yourself is a national nonpartisan, nonprofit campaign to empower and encourage every eligible 18-year-old in America to register and vote.

FYI: Although Declare Yourself prides themselves on bipartisanship, Jessica Alba, their new spokesperson, is voting for Obama/Biden

Oh, and Jessica, stick to what you know best: making shitty movies and prancing around like the hot retard you are.

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John:
The eyes of the world are focused on Cabo right now waiting to catch a glimpse of Lohan and her ward in a moment of passion. Instead, we’re just getting grainy images of two pasty forms in the distance holding hands and being generally gross. I’m not including a thumb gallery with this post because I don’t want to make myself or our readers sick today. It is Thursday after all.

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