Jodie Marsh wants your sperm

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~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

John:
In publicity stunt news, Jodie Marsh went on a radio show looking for a sperm donor. Here’s how it went down according to The Sun,

She recently admitting she’s started a relationship with hairdresser NINA.
Jodie said: “I’ve had loads of s**t men. I can see why women turn lesbian, because you get to the point where you’re sick of hearing so much f***ing bull***t, so you start to look elsewhere.”

Jodie Marsh couldn’t handle my load unless her uterus had a kryptonite lining. I’m not saying I’m Superman or anything. But then again, I’m not saying I’m not.

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McCain and Obama dance off!!!

Perhaps the video that will decide the outcome of the election

Drunk Interviews, Roof Jumpers, Shark Punchers, More Juice Please…


Some jackass kid jumps off roof of his house into a swimming pool (I-AM-BORED)
British pop star Karry Katona is f@cking hammered drunk on the TV (WWTDD)
50 Chicks dresses as slutty Vampira. It’ll turn your day around (Bamkapow)
Reporter wants ass cream. Yes, ass cream (DoubleViking)
Monkey Man vs. Shark Puncher vs. Bear (Asylum)
Hef takes the twins out for work (Celebridiot)
Guy Ritche is already pokin’ somebody else (Warship)
Some things can’t be coached. Brande Roderick is one of them (Uncoached)
West Texas A&M Cheerleaders seem fun (BustedCoverage)
Guess the cleavage. Porn Star or Celebrity (DonChavez)
John Malcovich gives a shout out to Agent Bedhead! (AgentBedhead)
Jodie Marsh wants your sperm (BrightBlack)
Who the hell is Karen Richadson and how can I have sex w/ her? (On205)

The Neverland Ranch is officially for sale

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~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Someone just took a dump on my childhood memories. Perhaps the greatest talent I ever heard or saw, in addition to looking like ET’s albino cousin, is now having to foreclose on his Neverland Ranch. I mean what is the world coming to when my boyhood icon isn’t even able to own an amusement park in his back yard? I put it to you. I mean sure he’s bat-sh@t crazy, but what did you expect? It’s MICHAEL JACKSON. He makes Mike Tyson look like the world’s safest bet. Elton John once saw him while high on cocaine and decided right then and there that it was time to start taking heroin. Kids everywhere are missing out Mike’s private thumb ride. In all honesty, Mike, you may be the world’s biggest freak to date. But we’ll always have Thriller. And for that we are all in debt to you.

PS–you look….good……maybe try to avoid showing your face..ever again.

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The Story of Aniston and Mayer (in two parts)

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Act 1: John leaves, “I had to go get all the hot young ass I could.”

Act II: John returns to marry his bride and plant his seed, a ‘pump n’ dump’

John:
John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston are engaged. Reports say that Jen issued a marriage ultimatum upon his return. So says The Star,

just a week after Jen and John Mayer reignited their romance, Jen made her move and asked him to marry her!
After a barrage of romantic e-mails from him, “she said that she’d only take him back if they got married, and he agreed,” says a source. “They both know this is it. She wants to settle down, and finally, so does he. They’ve even talked about having a family, and John said that he couldn’t imagine doing it with anyone but her.”

We all know how the 3rd Act ends, kids. Aniston makes a baby. They name him Damien, the spawn of Satan. Damien runs a chain of Dunkin’ Donuts on the Lower East side of Manhattan unit he is called to lead an army of deamons against Jesus and Orthodox Socialists. Jesus and Damien call a truce after 100 years of bloodshed after both Jesus and Damien agree that Damien’s father, John Mayer, is a total douchebag.