Ever wonder what would happen if your favorite celebrity got juiced? Here is your answer. Photos courtesy of our sister site, The Chive.
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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Looks like Derober’s favorite special Olympic couple just got hitched. And how adorable do they look, huh? Like watching two monkeys jack off at the zoo while you slowly peel a banana in front of them. Apparently, ‘The Hills’ stars decided to elope in Mexico over the weekend. And why am I not surprised. Two piles of genetic waist decided that the most fitting place to get married was in the world’s finest waist basket. F#ck off, Paris! No one wants your romantic propaganda when they can get married in a geographical outhouse for free. So kudos to Heidi and Spencer. Your retardation never seizes to amaze me. Now if you don’t mind I’m going to cut off my left ear and down a bottle of Jack and qualudes.
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Darby Gunpowder:
Although this is a little too much fabric for my tastes, Katy Perry still looks purty darn sexy in her latest FHM shoot. I still have no idea how/when this chick came on to the scene because, well, I don’t pay attention to celebrities. I heard she sings a song about scissoring, or eating box, or something. I bet it’s a real hum-dinger. Keep up the good work Katy, hope to see your downward spiral on E! True Hollywood story by Christmas.
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John:
Rihanna showed up at the American Music Awards dresses as a spike. I’m getting mixed messages here. It’s like her cleavage is saying, ‘come close’ and her spikes are saying, ’so I can kill you.’ Decisions, decisions. Also, the first reader to write in and tell me what the fuck an American Music Award gets an ice cream cone with sprinkles. Is an AMA what happens when a Grammy and an MTV Moon Man screw?
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John:
Megan Fox has been with the Brian Austin Green-bag for too long. I had a girlfriend that slept with him 5 years ago and she said his penis was actually the opposite of a penis. You do the math. Either way, this picture represents my feelings on the matter. I think Brian Austin Green is a handicap person. And I hate handicap people with their weird faces and their sneaky tricks…
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