Derober

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John:
Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz-bag welcomed their mongoloid son, Bronx, into the world last night. Reports coming in are that Ashlee was disoriented and wanted to know “If it’s a boy or a douchebag.” Turns out it was both according to People,

Bronx Mowgli Wentz weighed 7 lbs., 11 oz., and was 20 1/2 inches long.
“Ashlee, Pete and baby Bronx are all healthy and happy, and thank everyone for their well wishes!” a spokesperson tells PEOPLE.

So the first son of Satan has officially been spawned. Get out your crosses and your lamb’s blood, Bronx Mowgli Wentz-bag is here to destroy us

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