Derober

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Madonna and her glorified chew toy Alex Rodriguez are keeping their affair relationship quiet which is why they spent the week in New York shopping for 60 million dollar homes (as you may have gathered by this point). According to pagesix:
A knowledgeable real estate source tells us the kabbalah-crazed pop queen and the skirt-chasing power hitter are “discreetly looking at properties between Fifth and Park avenues, from just above 60th Street through the 80s.
“Madonna personally came to look at one house a couple of months ago, and Alex has been looking recently,” the insider said. “We’re talking about private, double-width mansions in the vicinity of $30 million to $60 million.”
Madge and A-Rod are also interested in scoring a house “with a garage that you can drive into for additional privacy – although those are rare and hard to come by,” our spy added. Another source said they were also looking in the Hamptons.

I know Madonna is rich and famous, A-Rod. But if you want to experience the sensation only the Madge can give then I suggest sticking your nuts into the blades of a lawn mower or dipping them into cement and then having someone wreck them with a sledge hammer. Much safer alternatives. I wish you all the best, A-Rod, you f#cking idiot.

Related Stories:

• A-Rod and Madonna reunite…eeew
• A-Rod’s wife is to sound investment what Paris Hilton is to wholesome virgin
• Madonna divorcing Ritchie, A-Rod doing Madonna, Darby cares less.
• Celebrity homes depreciate in value just like civilian homes

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