Derober

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John:
If they both had tiny heads! Look, people with tiny heads getting divorced are hilarious. It’s science.  JLo and that sewer rat might be headed for The Big D according to US,

“He’s very, very controlling of her,” a close Anthony pal tells Us. “The skirts aren’t as short. You don’t see so much of that booty anymore.” The new Us Weekly also reports that Anthony also picks out Lopez’s clothes and keeps tabs on her phone calls.

This will be the end of JLo’s 3rd marriage and the beginning of her 4th ass.

Comments (3)

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Leave it to our field reporter Tyrone the tit-loving T-Rex to spot a nip slip from a mile away. Halle Berry’s chocolate gumdrop nipples are about as subtle as a freight train slamming into a pile of glow-in-the dark dildos on a moonless night. I’ll give you a second to let the imagery settle in…..got it…….yeah, just like that. Anyways, I heard Halle once got paid a million dollars to show her tits in the movie Swordfish. But like my Grand Pappy Winston used to tell me, ‘why buy the bull when you can have the sex for free.’ The internet is a wonderful thing isn’t it kids. Look for Halle to nip-slip in a theatre near you when her new movie Frankie and Alice drops. Or do that other thing you do, you know, avoid this movie as if it were an AIDS infected pile of shit. Got it? Good.

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John:
Lindsay Lohan is seen here talking on the phone with nobody, she’s just trying to look busy. Seriously though, Lilo has had a rough couple years but I think Linsday will be back on top in no time. I really do. Why are people laughing? I’m serious. Hey! I said I was serious. Man, you’re lucky she’s not here right now. If Lindsay saw you laughing like this, it would really hurt her feelings.  

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
You know my Uncle Alfresco once told me you know when a girl is too good for you when you’re willing to eat the corn out of her shit. Uncle Alfresco was a raging alcoholic and a womanizer but damn it if he didn’t speak the truth. Heidi Klum is a force of nature. The kind of intergalactic sex goddess that will make you blow a load in your pants just by talking about the weather. If Heidi farted in front of me I think I would get on my knees and propose to her. True story. Anyways, enjoy these lost outtake photos of Heidi from a 2003 GQ photoshoot. But don’t look too close. Once you’ve seen perfection reality can be a hard pill to swallow.

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Hey everybody, don’t look now but Hilary Duff will take your father out for a nice seafood dinner and NEVER CALL HIM AGAIN. That’s right, she’s an adult now. And just to bury the hatchet on this little tid-bit Hilary decided to sex it up in the newest issue of Maxim magazine. The pics are sort of hot if you don’t have access to internet porn or if you live in the hills somewhere. I say lets dispense with this Sesame street cleavage bull-sh@$ and go straight to the theatre of the absurd. You know, the kind where you’d catch Hilary jamming a fruit basket up her vagina while taking a bucket of urine to the face. And if that doesn’t get you off then you’re NO friend of mine.

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