Derober

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John:
Laura Vandervoort of Smallville went to the premiere of Into the Blue and forgot to invite me. It’s fine, we’re going through a rough patch because of some other supermodel that happened a long time ago but that’s not the point. The point is, I don’t know who those chicks photobombing my wife are, but they’d better tone down the ‘jealous much meter’ before I have to intervene.

And I will intervene. It’s one of my favorite words to do

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John:
Meg Gibson’s wife, Robyn, has filed for divorce siting ‘irreconcilable differences.’ And she stands to make a small fortune according to TMZ,

There is no prenuptial agreement — they were married in 1980, before Mel Gibson amassed a fortune estimated at $900 million back in 2006. Under the laws of California, community property — which includes earnings — is divided 50/50.
Robyn is also asking for spousal support and attorneys fees.

This one is gonna’ get messy. I hope Mel doesn’t hit the bottle again seeing as his Freeeeeeeeeedom! is going to cost a couple hundred million dollars.

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John:
When all else fails, dye your hair back to it’s original color. Lindsay Logan has returned to her ‘firecrotch’ roots this afternoon. The curtains match the carpet and all is right with the world. That might be a little overstated considering Lilo’s recent breakup, her lack of any career, and impending jailtime but hey, the new hairdo looks fantastic!

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
You ever wonder what it would look to see a bucket of lard having sex with a rusty nail? The thought keeps me up nights. Well, according to Star Magazine (the authority on everything worthless), Britney Spears and Kevin Federline have been knocking boots again. Knocking ‘em hard, early and often. Star says,

…the one-time couple have been hooking up whenever and wherever the mood strikes.
“It’s like they’re newlyweds all over again,” a family insider (says). “Brit and Kevin can’t keep their hands off each other! The flings have made them both a lot happier.”
Britney loves it when Kevin puts the moves on her, and she’s making her own too. “She definitely knows how to fan the flames!”

If you ask me, they’re probably having sex right now. That sound outside your window currently…no dump truck–wink wink.

Britney and Kevin are doing it if you don’t understand what I’m getting at.

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