Megan Fox won’t do ‘Wonderwoman’ but Lara Croft is OK

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John:
Megan Fox won’t do Wonderwoman because she claims, “I’d be a lame superhero.” But she has no problem being Lara Croft in the upcoming Tomb Raider installment. Can somebody explain to me the difference between Wonderwoman and Lara Croft? Cause it sounds about the same if you know what I mean.

Yep, that’s Britney Spears

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John:
It’s official, Britney Spears is hot again. There were times before when I was like ’she’s looking better. I might hit that drunk.’ But now I’m all like, ‘She’s hot again. Officially.’ And since my word is the beginning and end of trading on Wall Street, it’s pretty much law. So welcome back, Britney. I’d hit it.

Viva La Revolucion!

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John:
Hayden Panettiere is on a yacht in Cannes, sunbathing. Just when you think it can’t get any better you find out she’s there with her new boyfriend, Steve Jones, and you boil over with excitement because all you ever wanted was for her to be happy…wait. That came out wrong. I meant -
Hayden Panettiere is on a yacht in Cannes with some lucky douchebag who isn’t you or I and all we can do is look at the photo gallery and hope.

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Get out of the way!

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John:
Lindsay Lohan falls back on Marilyn Monroe (again) for Spanish Vogue. I officially feel bad for this girl. She’s broke and she’s not Marilyn Monroe. Two worse things I can’t think of. What is Spanish Vogue anyway? I don’t even know what that means.

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George Clooney, wasted

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John:
George Clooney, who is my hero, got pretty wasted last night. This isn’t news, this is awesome. This guy is out there just giving it to the world. He’s rich, famous, single, and totally drunk. I want to freeze time. My man-crush wants to remember Cloon-dog just like this.