A matter of national security

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Darby Gunpowder:
Terrorist to the stars, Adnan Ghalib wanted some attention so he reminded the world that he still has a sex tape of him and Britney. The walking shit-stain is trying to sell the fictitious sex tape to the highest bidder. The small glitch in his master plan is that there is no sex tape according to Spears. Sources say the video shows Adnan having sex with a transvestite in a Britney Spears Halloween mask with cardboard cut-outs of her kids in the background watching (for authenticity). When asked for a comment, Britney said, “That cloud looks like a puppy.”

Update: Remember that time we snuck into Britney Spears neighborhood and left her a present?

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According to Star Magazine, Adnan is bragging to his friends that he knocked Britney up and is set for life.

“Britney is Adnan’s dream come true. He knows that if he has a child with Brit, he’ll be made for life,” one friend of Adnan’s tells Star.”

Wow, the world’s shittiest mom is going to have another baby. That’s like allowing OJ Simpson to get married again and we all know that story ends. In other news, Britney’s parents are on the verge of suicide.

Britney really needs more attention

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As everyone knows by now Britney Spears has been committed to the insane asylum UCLA Medical Center. And here are some of the grim details of what her stay will entail according to x17online.
According to the source:

# Britney will be held for at least 72 hours, and up to 14 days if the LA County officer deems her a danger to herself and others.

# Britney will be supervised around the clock by nurses and security, unable to even bathe by herself.

# Over the first few days, Britney will be encouraged to sleep as much as possible, and will be administered sleeping pills, as well as Ativan (an anti-anxiety medication) to help her do so. Meds are doled out three times a day.

# Visitors are allowed to come one hour a day during the week, between 6:30 and 7:30, but on the weekends the stay is extended from 1-3. Visitors are allowed to bring food (although our source says UCLA’s food is pretty decent!) but they cannot keep it or any other contraband (sharp objects, razors, etc.) in their rooms.
Continue Reading: Britney really needs more attention