Did Adriana Lima’s boobs grow?

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Darby Gunpowder:
After taking my gaze from Adriana’s eye’s, I noticed her chesticles appear larger than normal -trust me, I would know. I own stock in Victoria’s Secret and was on the Miracle Bra committee. These results are off the charts. I am beginning to think that VS went behind my back to create the Beta version of the UberMiraclest Bra. Bastards.
The only other logical explanation is that Adriana is indeed pregnant. This is not a rumor I am willing to start unless there was a chance it was my love child -and this is not the case…yet.

The Victoria Secret Fashion show: once again better than a slow jack and a belly rub

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Darby Gunpowder:
The most beautimous dames in the world were out last Saturday at the Fontainebleau Miami Beach Hotel for the annual Victoria Secret Fashion Show -or as I like to call it, 2 spoons please num num num num. The show airs on CBS Dec. 3, 2008. and includes the likes of Marisa Miller, Heidi Klum, Miranda Kerr, Adriana Lima and Alessandra Ambrosia.
This event inspired me to watchThe Secret this past weekend and after watching it, I made my own vision board for luxury items I want someday. The smart people on the video said that if the picture is on the vision board, I WILL get it. I put one thing on it: a photo montage of the Victoria Secret fashion show. No Lamborghini, no Spencer Pratt tombstones, no 80 inch flat screen TV, no Tony Little Gazelle, no Sham-Wow!, no Asian hookers -just the Victoria Secret Fashion show. If I don’t go this next year, when all the legends are still around (aka not fat/saggy) it will be like watching the present day Chicago Bulls..

My girlfriend poses for Victoria Secret. I’m cool with it.

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Adriana Lima aka “My Fiance” poses for Victoria Secrets new coffee table book with the other supermodels. I wish I had thought of that. This is a much better idea than my coffee table book, The Dumper, and I don’t mean the Garbage..

5 simple rules when dating Adriana Lima

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
So if you’re ever in the rarefied position of meeting or dare I say dating Adriana Lima, here are a few simple rules to live by according to Adriana herself.

Have a hint of jealousy:
“I like jealous men. Everything has a limit, of course, but once in a while you have to stand up and say, ‘I love this person.’”

But don’t be too jealous:

“It’s never OK to defend my honor by beating someone up. You have to control yourself, even if the other person is drunk and crazy. Just say, ‘Let’s go home. Let’s leave.’ You don’t have to say a thing to him. I don’t like fights. I don’t like aggressive people.”

Sound convoluted enough. For the rest of Adriana’s impossible standards click here.
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