Angelina Jolie is pregant with twins–there goes the planet

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Angelina Jolie is having twins. Imagine what Brad must be going through. Kids keep dropping off at his doorstep like flies to dog sh@t and Angelina expects him to take care of them. Brad rants for a while and then realizes there’s no sense dealing with a woman that uses kids as currency. She gets a great discount because of her fame. At some point Brad has to put his foot down and say that’s enough. The day you can’t pronounce fifty percent of your children’s names is the day you stop adopting. That being said, Angie has already discussed plans to adopt more children in more countries. Brad failed to comment. Angie likes it that way. She also loves wearing pants ;)

For more Angie baby x-rays and more.

Angelina Jolie’s not so sweet 16

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John:
Angelina Jolie gave us all a gift for her 16th birthday and it was finally delivered today. In Touch has gotten their hands on a risky shoot Jolie did at only 16. Clad in leather and wearing a bikini, she hoped the photos would get her recognition in the industry. It must have worked cause last time I checked she was a whole buncha’ famous. Enjoy the photos. Pretend she’s 18 if that makes you feel better about yourself, pervert.

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The Ten Million Dollar Baby

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John:
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are set to sell photos of their new baby for $10 million. People paid $4 million for baby Shiloh’s pictures so this is…more. It should be noted that they give all proceeds to charity. It should also be noted that this is beyond retarded. My parents had to pay some pedophile at Sears $25 dollars for my first photos and there was not even a clown provided.

Angelina Jolie’s St. John photos released

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John:
Angelina channels Audrey Hepburn in her latest spread. The photos were taken pre-bump but the look in her eyes clearly says, “Impregnate me now, Billy Bob.”
And he did.

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Angelina Jolie to give birth in French fortress

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The Sun is reporting that Angelina Jolie is planning on delivering her child in a French castle in honor of her French mother, Marcheline Bertrand. The breakfast conversation with Brad went exactly like this:

“Hi Honey, I picked up those cuff links you wanted from Macy’s and I’m going to birth my baby in a French fortress. Pass the bacon.’

~The Angellego~

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