Derober

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Darby Gunpowder:
Here’s some boring photos of Ashlee Simpson in a yellow bikini. For a second I though this newly gingerfied dame was kinda smokin, until I realized who it was. I give these pics “2-shits” on my shit meter, which by the way maxes out at 2. The only way I would give a shit is if Simpson and her living-miscarriage of a boyfriend Pete Wentz, were wading in shark infested waters.

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John:
The following video speaks for itself. Pete and Ashley make a video that they should have never, ever made. The ‘jokes’ don’t exactly land as you’ll see. Pete comes across as one of the most arrogant people on earth while Ashley eats Cheetos. The quotes are as priceless as they are ignorant. Derober has subtitled video to better comprehend the insanity. Original here.

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Photo courtesy of www.worth1000.com
Dee:
After seeing the support Ashley Tisdale received after coming clean about her nose surgery, Ashlee Simpson’s greedy piece-of-shit father/manager decided to try and sell Ashlee’s story to the press about a week ago. There are still no takers.
John:
There are no takers because this is old news. Ashlee’s dad is trying to throw his daughter’s nose into a microwave to reheat it in time for her new single to drop. What’s worse is Daddy Simpson tried to sell it!  Nobody would have taken it if they gave it away for free! We heard through the grapevine that Derober is one of Ashlee’s favorite blogs so Ashlee, if you’re reading this, that weight around your ankle has a name, Joe Simpson.

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Oh Ashlee, you trying to deny (or not confirm) your nose job is like a Star Jones denying that she’s had liposuction. I mean, we can’t blame you for getting the surgery cause lets face it that nose had its own self-sustaining ecosystem around it. But c’mon don’t deny it, the world didn’t all become blind, deaf, and dumb the day of your surgery.