Derober

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Listen, I only had time for one post today and it would be unfair NOT to include each of these two beautimous babes. Audrina Partridge and Neri..Nare….the chick who was banging Cristiano Ronaldo a few months back; we’ll call her Sally for simplicity’s sake. Anyways, Audrina and Sally’s rocking tits have been a constant source of inspiration in my life. Kind of like Adrian was to Rocky, or rocks are to a crack-head. And in my darkest hour when I question the very meaning of life a beam of white light bursts out of the blackness. All I can make out though the blinding glow are these two sets of heavenly tits. And suddenly my purpose in life becomes very clear–I must run for president.

Vote ‘The Bitch’ in 2020. If you like atomic breasts then I am your man.

BTW–Sally’s real name is Nereida Gallardo, just in case you need her help.

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
This is what doesn’t happen to people who sit and read books. In fact, ladies, why are you even taking the time to read this post? You should be out there doing squat thrusts, ass sit-ups, tit-push ups, and getting a boob job immediately. Early bird gets the rack, right? And all though these ‘spontaneous’ photos of Audrina Partridge by the pool are as real as her tits, I still would sell my soul and the guy’s next to me for one glorious motorboat in those heavely bags.

Remember, burning books are bad, but reading them are even worse.

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Let me be the first to say these women were not born from a mother like you and me. They were forged in the fires of Mount Doom. A trifecta of tits so powerful that when combined they can bring lakes to boil, turn mountains to rubble and even make the Riverdance look not gay. Simply put, Audrina, Rosario, and Katie are in a stratosphere all to themselves. A Tit-Twilight zone.

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John:
It was recently discovered that some club owners are paying the single-celled amoeba $10,000 to attend parties according to the Daily News,

The Maxim model, 23, demands “a secure VIP area with complimentary beer, mixed drinks and bottle service (two bottles) and at least one security guard at all times,” according to the rider.

I’ll bet she takes the money and buys the dumbest shit with it too. Even money she has a My Little Pony collection that takes up an entire wing of her house.

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Look at how happy Audrina Partridge and boyfriend Justin Bobby (name not a joke) are bar-hopping on the streets of Santa Monica. Makes me think maybe..just maybe it’s time for me to try my hand at dating. Perhaps I’ve been too hard on celebrity couples and haven’t given them enough praise for their happiness. Maybe I should quit being such a critic and start being a believer. Perhaps I finally learned the error in my cynical ways. Ohh…ohhh God what have I done…?

Wait…

Wait a minute…

What was I saying. Oh Lord, I’ve done it again. I’m sorry guys I lost my head there for a second. I was in the midst of cocking the shotgun when those previous hopeful comments were uttered. I guess I just got caught up in romantic moments that lead up to pre-shotgun blast and was in speaking unconsciously in a state of horny hypnosis. But like everything in life the moment is over and I still hate people. All is well…all is well.