Bai Ling caught shoplifting. Send in Cesil the Corparate Chipmunk

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Bai Ling, contortionist and taxidermist for hire, was arrested Wednesday for shoplifting at an LAX store. Ling was put under “citizen’s arrest” when she walked out with two celeb magazines and a pack of batteries (for vibrator) that totaled $16. Now, I’m no advocate of shoplifting but 16 dollars–come the F#%$ on! You’re a celebrity, Bai, pay the officer a couple extra dollars (or try that other thing) and get off with a slap on the wrist. Seriously, your star truly has faded when your put under citizen’s arrest and you can’t get away with $16 worth of stolen goods.

AFI and Airborne host ‘Southland Tales’ bash. Derober was there.

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Hollywood’s A-List turned out for theSouthland Tales premiere. Soooo much fun! The bash was sponsored by ‘Airborne’ so it was funny to see everybody boosting their immune systems while waiting for a drink. I don’t know what it is about Bai Ling, but I believe she brings out the animal in us all. I was too scared to get within arms reach of her for obvious reasons. Other celebs in attendance included Sarah Michelle Gellar, Dwayne Johnson (The Rock), Nora Dunn, Michelle Trachtenberg, Cheri Oteri, Kevin Smith (very cool), and Julie Delphy.

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Michelle Trachtenberg flies the friendly skies. And I must admit, there’s just something about a woman in uniform that cuts to the core of me. Well, that and the fact the blue-eyed seductress is absolutely gorgeous. I’d be her flight attendant anytime.
PS–I loved her in Ice Princess , and don’t care what anybody says to me about that. And for anyone curious, she kept her nerves under control when she met me. You can see Michelle soon enough in an up-and-coming show called The Hill.

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Although Halloween is dead and gone, Sarah Michelle Gellar seen here with The Rock and Richard Kelly, dressed like the Pope to the Airborne partaaay. And I’m cool with this. I’ve always thought of Sarah as a celestial being. And so help me, if Dwayne gets any closer to her, I’ll beat his ass. Hand check!!

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