Derober

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Well I’ve been fiending for some gratuitous nippage action and lets just consider my wants to be the gospel in this crazy, crazy world. You know I couldn’t tell you a single fact back about Shauna Sand other than that she was formerly Lorenzo Lama’s wife and that she has a rack the could plug the hoover dam and nourish all the children in Rowanda at the same time. Pretty sure they have their own self-contained ecosystem. And though those jugs are about as authentic as Hilary Clinton’s smile I still would go 10 rounds with the mammoths and leave room for desert.

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
I’m going to level with all of you, this news has about as much appeal to me as a mosquito that just acquired AIDS from a African American exchange student. Upsetting? Now you know I how feel. So the big news of the day is that Harry Potter star Emma Watson has just discussed that life after Hermione might involve doing nudity. According to the London Times Emma said about doing a nude scene,

So in 20 years’ time, I can quite easily see her being a brilliant lawyer or civil servant — in a good way, of course — and perhaps she sees it too. “I have enough to hold me together without fame,” she says. “I have a really supportive family and a full life away from Harry Potter. It’s unlikely that I’ll be part of anything this big ever again, so I need to deal with that. I’m not going to take a job just because, shit, I’m not doing anything else.” She still loves acting, naturally — she would even, steady chaps, go nude. “Yes,” she says. “For Bernardo Bertolucci. It . . . depends. I’m not getting my kit off any time soon, but it is part of my job.”

Well shit, there goes the planet. I’d get more entertainment watching two antelopes finger bang each other on the discovery channel but if watching 18 year olds with no complexion, tits or ass is your thing then by all means this is cause for celebration. Congrats. Whosa big winna…you awwe you awwe.

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Looks like Derober’s favorite special Olympic couple just got hitched. And how adorable do they look, huh? Like watching two monkeys jack off at the zoo while you slowly peel a banana in front of them. Apparently, ‘The Hills’ stars decided to elope in Mexico over the weekend. And why am I not surprised. Two piles of genetic waist decided that the most fitting place to get married was in the world’s finest waist basket. F#ck off, Paris! No one wants your romantic propaganda when they can get married in a geographical outhouse for free. So kudos to Heidi and Spencer. Now if you don’t mind I’m going to cut off my left ear and down a bottle of Jack and qualudes.

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
God, when are we going to put a label on that damn launcher. I can never tell front from back. Not unlike my early sexual experiences–somewhere an ex of mine is crying in a mental ward. Anyways, Zac and Vanessa might of gotten away scott free this time but I’ll never forget my early dismantlings of the two on the beaches of Mexico. Good times. I’m sure the couple must be so happy in the wake of the release of Highschool Musical 12 as they strolled down the beaches of Hawaii. If there’s one thing I just can’t get enough of it’s rich celebrities, in love enjoying their day. It’s like sand paper to my nuts. Or gouging out my eyeballs with an icepick. Come to think of it, I don’t enjoy these happy fruit loops at all. I’ve gotta lay off the quailudes and Prozac. Making me soft…

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Sometimes I’m surprised at my own destruction. I mean…WOW. That escalated really quickly. I was just going to make a simple statement out of the boy, but somewhere between the anvil dropping and the bloody rib cage protruding from the boy’s body I blacked out. That always happens when I’m sober. Anyways, these pics are of Justin Gaston, aka. the blowjob object of Miley Cyrus‘ affection. And in these pics the 20 year old Blue Steel wonabee can be seen getting drunk with his other male model friends. Now call me old fashioned, but prancing around half naked and drunk with your model friends comes off just a tad bit gay, don’t you think? But maybe that’s just because I like women. I guess that makes me biased, right. Sorry, I’ll start drinking immidiately.