Derober

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
In case you haven’t heard, Hef’s hot whore girl next door Holly Madison high tailed and ran away from Hugh to make cocky, talentless, alien retard babies with Chriss Angel. That’s right, Hugh Hefner lost his girl to a magician. Somebody check my head for tumors. No one knows for sure if Holly found Chriss or if Chriss found Holly and stole her away but quite frankly who the f$ck cares? All I need to know, Hef, is…does that mean the Playboy mansion is back open for business?? Please, God make it so.

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Sarita Stella is NOT girl next door hot (doubleviking)
Ashley Russell now prowling Big Ten sidelines (bustedcoverage)
Atom Smasher activated and we’re not dead..yet (asylum)
Lindsay Lohan in fishnets…hot (dirtyrottenwhore)
Emmanuelle Chriqui sexy at Fashion Week (on205th)
Funniest Pepsi Ad EVER (tastybooze)
Francesca Lukasik so so sexy in bra and panties (hottestgirlsofmyspace)
Victoria Beckham working the new hair (celebwarship)
Rear of the year (agentbedhead)
Tampa Bay Buc cheerleaders are other worldly (donchavez)
‘Hamlet 2’–is it worth seeing??–Answer here… (Pink)

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Yep, it’s official…I don’t give a shit. Fake, real, makes no difference to me. As a general rule of thumb if I can plant half of my head in between a rack I’m happy. Like a kid in a tit-candy store. I will admit I’ve had my suspicions for the past year that Christina Aguilera did in fact get a boob job. People laugh and tell me that boobs just expand a little during the pregnancy. Ok, a little, fine. But those puppies grew like the Grinch’s heart. They mutated like a turtle in radioactive goo. Furthermore, she gave birth sometime ago now and those knockers don’t look to be going anywhere soon. C’mon X-Tina, fess up, you had breast implants put in while pregnant so you could have an excuse for why they’re so big. It’s ok, I won’t judge you. I would never frown upon a pair of tits that could suffocate a small army.

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Hello world, as you may have figured out from the title this is Krystal Forscutt. Who is she you ask? Good question, because just yesterday she was the hottest model in the world I hadn’t heard of. And now she’s the hottest model in the world I have. Well, turns out old clownshoes himself (Kanye West) saw the Lad magazine model and was so impressed that he posted forty of Forscutt’s best photos on his personal blog to help promote her. And as you might imagine Krystal is currently blowing up. Touche Kanye. Well played. You may have one the battle but not the war. Because I will dedicate the rest of my natural born life (two years and some change) to posting Krystal on my website until she’s so famous that she will inevitably have no other choice but to fall for me. I can see it now, the two of us on a mountaintop picking berries and having sex. She’s grilling me my favorite steak while I consume massive quantities of beer and cotton candy. Mmmmmm, nipple…or cotton candy…..both.

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Keeley Hazell is a hurricane of sexual prowess. She walks into an S&M store and says, “I’ll take me.” If she were an island it would probably lactate milk. Sometimes when I see her topless I swear I see the Virgin Mary in her nipples. She is my wife, my muse, my one and only. She will be mine or I will die trying.

Odds are I’ll die trying.