Dee:
This just in, Britney Spears is reportedly dating again. Who you ask, a writer, a director, a producer a…waiter? According to Life & Style Weekly the two have been dating privately for two whole weeks (how’d they pull that off). The man’s name is Death Michael Marchand and Life & Style reported, “Their chemistry was immediate. He’s very turned on by her.”
Wow, Britney couldn’t pick a better time to get back in the saddle. Drug allegations, child custody, money shortages…etc. Good luck though Brit.
Bob ‘The Bitch’:
So Brit has a new man on retainer, err I mean ‘They are enamored with each other’. It just goes to show you that even the world’s most out of control white trash, can still land a date if they’re loaded. Gee, life must be simple at the top.
Dee:
Remember this cover? The innocence? And remember when Britney Spears talked constantly about saving herself for marriage? Remember? Um… bad news here. US Magazine is reporting that the promiscuous teenager had sex for the first time at age 14 with then boyfriend Reg Jones, the first “love” of her life.
John:
I feel betrayed. I want to go back 10 years and visit my old self, younger John, the one that had a huge crush on Britney. And I want to talk to him. I want to tell him Britney the innocent goddess is not real. She lost her virginity 27 years before I was even born. I want him to know so bad. So much time wasted…
Dee:
This photo is an oldy, but goldy -we are sick of reporting Britney’s latest escapades, so we dug up an older photo of Brit right before the downward spiral. At least back then she was concerned about covering up her genitals. This photo was taken on her walk of shame with then boyfriend, Kevin F -maybe those are his crusty grundles???
Dee: Brit successfully ran over the foot of yet another paparazzi last night in her attempt to leave the Four Seasons Beverly Hills.
The “injured” camera man was not available for comment because he was too busy cleaning the sand out of his mangina.
It’s reported that Britney has since traded in her pearly white Benzo for a lime gree Scion Rally car.
She’s seen here in the video driving through down Mulholland Drive with reckless abandon.
Leo:
I took the video footage myself, this is all true. No one everyone was injured in this video.
Dee:
Everyone’s favorite train wreck, Britney Spears, recently failed a court ordered drug test. Her camp first argued that a false positive may have occurred because Britney took a drug called Provigil which may have been detected during testing. However, Provigil does not show up on court-ordered drug tests unless they are specifically looking for it–which they weren’t. What they did find were traces of amphetamine? Amphetamine is used in drugs like cocaine, meth, crack, and speed (to name a few). So now Britney’s camp, on full spin-control, have blamed the failed drug test on Albuterol, an asthma drug. And although Britney doesn’t have asthma she does use inhalers as an appetite suppressant (not really working). However, albuterol isn’t an amphetamine, like the amphetamine that showed up on her failed drug test. Brit stop the lies, you are SOL.
Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Wow Brit, it takes an amazing amount of will power to bullshit in front of the entire world as the evidence piles up against you–but hey, if it worked for OJ why not you–oops, I went there. You know, why not go one step further while you’re at it. Why not blame it on stress from your recent divorce and loss of your kids. Maybe while you slept your baby actually managed to inject you with an unsterilized needle full of heroin. Hell, maybe it was a pet…you know dogs these days, they’ll do anything for attention. Britney stop it, no one believes you. You’re two scoops away from a Michael-Jackson sundae.
Katy Perry OMG 
Jolie WTF?
Hayek is Huge
Playboy Fail
Serena Gross
Miley BJ
Megan Fox Nude
Kardashian bikini
Hills goes Playboy
Ferrel and Klum
David Beckham $$$
Johnny Knoxville $$
Donald Trump $$$
The Dog -$
Leonardo Dicaprio $$
Justin Timberlake -$
Posh & Katie -$
Christina Aguilera $$
Eva Longoria $$
Hillary Duff -$