Derober

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Photos courtesy of freakingnews.com

Dee:
This photo is an oldy, but goldy -we are sick of reporting Britney’s latest escapades, so we dug up an older photo of Brit right before the downward spiral. At least back then she was concerned about covering up her genitals. This photo was taken on her walk of shame with then boyfriend, Kevin F -maybe those are his crusty grundles???

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Photos courtesy of x17online.com

Dee:
Brit successfully ran over the foot of yet another paparazzi last night in her attempt to leave the Four Seasons Beverly Hills.
The “injured” camera man was not available for comment because he was too busy cleaning the sand out of his mangina.
It’s reported that Britney has since traded in her pearly white Benzo for a lime gree Scion Rally car.
She’s seen here in the video driving through down Mulholland Drive with reckless abandon.

Leo:
I took the video footage myself, this is all true. No one everyone was injured in this video.

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Photo courtesy of perezhilton.com

Dee:
Everyone’s favorite train wreck, Britney Spears, recently failed a court ordered drug test. Her camp first argued that a false positive may have occurred because Britney took a drug called Provigil which may have been detected during testing. However, Provigil does not show up on court-ordered drug tests unless they are specifically looking for it–which they weren’t. What they did find were traces of amphetamine? Amphetamine is used in drugs like cocaine, meth, crack, and speed (to name a few). So now Britney’s camp, on full spin-control, have blamed the failed drug test on Albuterol, an asthma drug. And although Britney doesn’t have asthma she does use inhalers as an appetite suppressant (not really working). However, albuterol isn’t an amphetamine, like the amphetamine that showed up on her failed drug test. Brit stop the lies, you are SOL.

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Wow Brit, it takes an amazing amount of will power to bullshit in front of the entire world as the evidence piles up against you–but hey, if it worked for OJ why not you–oops, I went there. You know, why not go one step further while you’re at it. Why not blame it on stress from your recent divorce and loss of your kids. Maybe while you slept your baby actually managed to inject you with an unsterilized needle full of heroin. Hell, maybe it was a pet…you know dogs these days, they’ll do anything for attention. Britney stop it, no one believes you. You’re two scoops away from a Michael-Jackson sundae.

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Photos courtesy of www.wwtdd.com.com

Dee:
Britney Spears latest excuse as to why she failed her last drug test was claimed to be,

“The drugs I am on made me fail the drug test”

Her (fake) friends and (zoo) handlers claim that her prescription of Provigil – used to treat her narcolepsy – made her bomb the test.

Leo:
Ooooohhhhhh, OK. Just like the snozberries taste like snozberries.

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Photo courtesy of damnimcute.com
Dee:
This girl is spinning off the planet. Britney took the kids out for a late-night 4th meal. Here was the situation according to TMZ:

The Popwreck approached the light slowly on Coldwater Canyon. You then see Britney raise her cellphone to her face. It is unclear if she’s texting or making a call. She then drives into the intersection as someone outside the car screams, “Red light, red light!” Britney then turns left onto Mulholland Drive, managing to miss oncoming traffic.

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