Hello, my name is Britney Spears and I’m an addict.

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Photos courtesy of www.wwtdd.com.com


Britney Spears latest excuse as to why she failed her last drug test was claimed to be,

“The drugs I am on made me fail the drug test”

Her (fake) friends and (zoo) handlers claim that her prescription of Provigil – used to treat her narcolepsy – made her bomb the test.

Ooooohhhhhh, OK. Just like the snozberries taste like snozberries.

Britney Spears rolls through red light with kids.

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Photo courtesy of damnimcute.com
This girl is spinning off the planet. Britney took the kids out for a late-night 4th meal. Here was the situation according to TMZ:

The Popwreck approached the light slowly on Coldwater Canyon. You then see Britney raise her cellphone to her face. It is unclear if she’s texting or making a call. She then drives into the intersection as someone outside the car screams, “Red light, red light!” Britney then turns left onto Mulholland Drive, managing to miss oncoming traffic.

Alli Sims’ Fat Cousin

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Remember the days when you used to look up to Britney for her work ethic, fashion sense and metabolism. Those days are dust in the wind. I knew Brit has been binging on Kentucky Fried Chicken, but I had no idea she ate Colonel Sanders himself. Let’s not overlook that whoever made that costume in the first place should be shot on site. Stay home Britney, I’m sick of writing about you and your eff’d up family.

Land walker – A machine so enormous in size that it displaces the earth beneath as it moves.

Britney Spears speaks in tongues

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Screenshot courtesy of britneyspears.com

Britney Spears
and K-Fed met in court on Friday for another child custody shit show. Brit once again proved she was insane all while trying to prove her competence as a mother. Really quite impressive:

When asked by an “Extra” reporter in the hallway outside a Los Angeles Superior courtroom as to how she was doing, Britney Spears shouted out, “”Eat it, lick it, snort it, f**k it!” Spears walked back into the courtroom crying.


The power of Christ Compels You! Someone call for an Exorcism -this bitch is possessed.
I know it sounds horrible, but I have a vision that this poor girl will soon have an E! “True Hollywood Story”, ending in her tragic death if she doesn’t disappear Johnny Depp style for about 3-4 years. She could always flee to David Copperfield‘s private island…I heard that’s pretty secluded and safe.

Britney Spears’ Shittious Lip Job

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Photo courtesy of egotastic.com

Attention whore, Britney Spears, got ass-fat injected into her lips over the weekend. She then led the paparazzi parade through the Valley before finally stopping for a drum of ice cream at Cold Stone Creamery to cool her swollen lips. Oh yeah, she also ran over a photographer’s foot while distracted, trying to hide her lips.

Leo Says:
First of all, who gives a shit. Some people are claiming this is a botched lip job, but honestly has anyone ever seen a lip job that looks good? No. Don’t for a minute let Brit fool you: the lip job is merely a distraction to keep our attention off her weight gain, drug problems, and newly receding hairline.