Brit’s Womanizer video makes my stomach growl

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Darby Gunpowder:

YouTube makes users confirm they are 18 years old to view Britney Spears new Womanizer video. Britney is bucky-ass neked for a nice chunk of the otherwise horse-shit video. They say never go grocery shopping when hungry and I think this rule applies to this video too. It reminded me of an El Pollo Loco commercial. It looks amazing until you actually bring it home and realize it tastes of burnt human flesh …and has AIDS. See the correlation??

A matter of national security

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Darby Gunpowder:
Terrorist to the stars, Adnan Ghalib wanted some attention so he reminded the world that he still has a sex tape of him and Britney. The walking shit-stain is trying to sell the fictitious sex tape to the highest bidder. The small glitch in his master plan is that there is no sex tape according to Spears. Sources say the video shows Adnan having sex with a transvestite in a Britney Spears Halloween mask with cardboard cut-outs of her kids in the background watching (for authenticity). When asked for a comment, Britney said, “That cloud looks like a puppy.”

Update: Remember that time we snuck into Britney Spears neighborhood and left her a present?

Exclusive: Proof that Britney Spears album covers are FAKE

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Darby Gunpowder:
Both the London Daily Mail and The Sun are running these pics today. They are claiming these are promotional photos from Brit’s new single, Womanizer.
WWTDD first suspected that the photos are a fake and the Derober’s rollover effect proves it.
We all know a little (or a lot) of photoshop goes into promo materials, but the photos used here are ripped straight from Britney 2004 Onyx Hotel Tour. Some talented bastard cut her face off and put it on a super-model’s body. Roll your mouse over the photos above and below and say, ahh-haaa!!!!

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Now if I can only track down Brit’s body-double and ask her out for some jag-bombs and sex… Don’t worry, I’ll bring a paper bag with in case I need to cover up her (possibly) hideous mug.

This is a total shit show

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John:
The Derobers usually stay away from posts that we can’t put a bikini on but I just can’t help myself today. Look at these ass clowns. Lynne Spears just wrote a book outing Britney’s drug habits as a 13 years-old. The book also discusses how Brit lost her virginity at 14. And now they are all sitting on a curb like the rednecks they are just gettin’ along like pigs in shit. The only way I accept this situation is if this photo was taken at an alligator farm and Britney was secretly strapping raw meat to her mom.

Britney’s parents had a nude painting of their daughter hanging in their home…the pieces are coming together

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Darby Gunpowder:
Britney Spears donated the above painting to The Promises Foundation which provides “behavioral health services to low-income women and their children.” The press recently found out Mr and Mrs Spears had the topless painting of a teenage Britney hanging in their house…on the ceiling over their bed. OK, I made the last part up, but it makes for a creepier story. The painting was put on eBay with an opening bid of $10,000 but it was later removed for unknown reasons. If the painting does go back up on eBay, you can bet I will place a bid on this masterpiece of pop culture shit and then burn it as a whorish publicity stunt.