A deer in the headlights is usually standing in front of Mac truck

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Darby Gunpowder:

Britney Spears made a robotic cameo at the VMA’s this week. She didn’t by any means get the shit taste out of my mouth from last year’s rendition of Free Willy meets Mama Mia. Either way, the press loves a comeback. But beware Brit, after hitting the top again, there’s only way back. I give it 3 months before Hurricane Britney spins off the planet again -and it will be for good this time. We can only hope and pray she gets her body in check one last time for Hugh Hefner to blow the farm on Britney’s nude debut.

Don’t forget to check out the candid photos of Britney’s kids below. Mom of the year!

Guess where the 4th one is?

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John:
Judging by the photo above, I’d say hell just frosted over. The only way I could ever justify Britney getting 3 Moon Men is if everybody else in the audience got 100 of them just for showing up. I have no idea how she got those awards because I would never watch the VMA’s but if I had to guess I’d say a few of the actual winners gave Britney their awards and took a ‘just for fun’ photo. If that’s the case, then this is hysterical.

Britney Spears returns to Wal-Mart hotness

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John:
Britney Spears made a weekend appearance at Bare, Mirage’s topless pool. Thankfully, Brit kept her top on. That’s a good thing because Brintey’s nipples stare at the ground like a scorned dog. I can’t prove that of course but I’m really good at making things up and I’m just spinnin’ my wheels over here. Gotta’ run, my unicorn just arrived and I’ve got a ton of errands to run.

Britney Spears to play lesbian stripper in Tarantino film

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Darby Gunpowder:
5 years ago, the combination of the words Britney Spears, lesbian, and stripper would have given many men hot flashes. Today, it just conjures up feelings of eating an entire case of Hot Pockets in one sitting. Tarantino must have lost a bet to want to cast, the no-talent ass-hack Spears as an ACTRESS in his next film, ‘Pussycat’. I’m sure ‘Crossroads’ is not in Tarantino’s DVD tower, but he’s got to know Spears can’t tie her own straight-jacket these days, let alone act.
According to filmschoolrejects.com,

Tarantino was considering Britney Spears, Eva Mendes, and Kim Kardashian with its recent suggestion that the princess of pop—whose acting career basically consists of a horrific performance in Crossroads, when she was cute and attractive, and a handful of comedic cameos on the CBS series “How I Met Your Mother,” after she had become crazy and not so attractive — might have beat out both Kardashian and Mendes for a part as one of his leading ladies.

Continue Reading: Britney Spears to play lesbian stripper in Tarantino film

Paris Hilton & Britney Spears featured in McCain ad because…

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Darby Gunpowder:
…I have no idea. In Derober’s tireless quest to not mix celebrities and politics, every once in a while we are force fed Gerbers earwax-prune-queef flavored celebritics. So please try and digest the latest John McCain political ad. Apparently McCain’s camp featured Britney Spears and Paris Hilton in an Obama bash ad -which does get points for originality. Long story, short, Paris is pretending to be pissed even though her parents are huge McCain contributers. You be the judge because we don’t care…because we are fictional characters…who live on the moon. Here’s the story from E! Online:

“She’s on tour with Benji [Madden] and isn’t watching television and has not been on the Internet,” said the source. “But she’s already said she’s not too happy about it.”
That’s interesting, since Paris’ parents are big McCain supporters (even contributing recently to his presidential campaign). But it turns out Paris has chosen not to publicly state who she’s rooting for.
“She doesn’t consider herself a political figure, and so she does not appreciate being used in that way,” said the insider. “She’d prefer the candidates just leave her out of it.”