Derober

One of these things does not belong here…

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Darby Gunpowder:
On slow gossip days, I find myself daydreaming of riding a flying unicorn through a valleys of boobs with Britney Spears back in 2001. Can life get any better? I submit that it cannot. But there is a deeper, underlying theme to this daydream: Britney Spears used to be jaw-droppping, smoking HOT!! Have we forgotten as a society days of old? Such short memories we have…
Sad really. Sad we waste all of our energy knit-picking her post-2-baby-front-butt, or her inner daemons who speak in British tongues. (No excuse for K-Fed) Lets give credit where credit is due. I declare Britney a martyr for all hot chicks who never “let themselves go”. You are a saint Britney…now lose some lbs and do Playboy already.

Remember when The Derobers visited Britney Spears house while she was in rehab? I do. HERE

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

John:
Britney Spears is seen here joking with the paparazzi at some event (we’ll never be invited to because we drink draft beer). We see Britney with a rose in her mouth motioning at Julia Roberts with a rose in her mouth and the joke is, “See, I’m being like this person. I have a rose too.” You sure do, Brit. You sure do.

Darby Gunpowder:
Britney Spears was spotted at designer Christian Audigiers’s 50th birthday party with her new agent Jason Trawick. We’re going to presume these 2 are bumpin uglies for the sake of rumors and past experience. This is the same guy she was comparing gut sizes to in Costa Rica last week (the jury is still out on who’s is bigger).

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Darby Gunpowder:
Britney’s dad hit the lotto the day he implanted Mrs Spears with that rotten seed of his. But ask any lotto winner, money can’t buy happiness -but it can buy you an early retirement. Mr Spears has been “forced” to quit his job as a sweet caterer to care for other vegetables, his daughter. Homeboy will make $10,000 a month for being a dad. Even though he is her dad, he still gets paid to be a dad. Let’s review:
Britney is her dad’s daughter. He gets paid to be her dad. My dad does not not get paid to be my dad, nor do my brother or sisters pay my dad to be their dad. I just called all my friends and a few random people in the phonebook and they don’t pay their dads to be their dads. Some of the people I asked don’t have dads, but confirmed they would not pay them if they did. I hope my dad doesn’t start charging to be my dad. Maybe I should be a dad to supplement my income…Mom, stay out of this.

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

John:
Britney Spears is on vacation in Costa Rica with Mel Gibson right now. The reason this is happening is really anyone’s guess. The romantic in me likes to think that Mel helped himself to Britney’s mom once at the Mad Max Beyond the Thunderdome premiere and Britney was the result.
I keep telling myself out loud, “Britney Spears and Mel Gibson are on vacation together” and I can’t stop laughing. Try it yourself, you’ll pee your pants. It’s like masturbating with humor.