Derober

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According to Star Magazine, Adnan is bragging to his friends that he knocked Britney up and is set for life.

“Britney is Adnan’s dream come true. He knows that if he has a child with Brit, he’ll be made for life,” one friend of Adnan’s tells Star.”

Wow, the world’s shittiest mom is going to have another baby. That’s like allowing OJ Simpson to get married again and we all know that story ends. In other news, Britney’s parents are on the verge of suicide.

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Dipshit, Britney Spears has been teaching children dance classes at Millennium Dance Complex in an attempt to forget about the 2 sons she gave birth to and slightly raised/managed not to kill. Who are the star-struck parents that trust their kids with Mrs Hyde?! US Weekly writes,

“Her home has pictures of her kids everywhere.”

Well we got our hands on one (above). Kids do the darndest things!

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Brit’s Dad, Jamie has the pleasure of doing Brit’s taxes, but her brother Bryan was brought in as conservator. We’re not sure what this means, nor will we do any research to shed any light on who has control of what. But we will tell you that Bryan may or may not be driving around a new Lamborghini. I think he deserves it. The poor guy has had to deal with his bat-shit crazy sister for far too long. Pick me up at 7 Bryan!

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Dee:
The New York Daily News nabbed this cover before it goes to newsstands. The article claims:

(Star) says she “secretly wed” lens-lizard Adnan Ghalib during the visit - which is legally meaningless, as he has not yet divorced his previous wife, AzLynn Berry.
Star editor Candace Trunzo tells me: “Our source on this was not in Rosarito Beach at the ceremony, but is very familiar with the fact that [wedding] documents exist.”
More interestingly, the mag says Spears gave Ghalib $250,000 to grease AzLynn’s exit.

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Britney Spears is reported to have a new bodyguard and there are rumors he may be carrying a gun. Derober has exclusive footage of Brit’s fat bodyguard* squeezing a few rounds off…wishing it were the paparazzi on the receiving end. This video cracks our shit up for some reason…

*fat guy shooting gun definitely not Brit’s bodyguard for all you sarcastically challenged readers out there

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