Alba marries Cash Warren

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

John:
Jessica Alba and Cash Warren in LA at City Hall today. There was no fanfare… at all. People reports:

“She looked happy but nervous,” the source says.

Warren, in a white shirt and brown pants, arrived with Alba at about 11:30 a.m. on Monday, applied for a marriage license and waited about 40 minutes for the paperwork to be processed before a staff member from the courthouse married them, the source says.

Nobody else attended the wedding, the source adds.

Their wedding sounds more like a trip to the DMV or possibly my anus. Keep in mind that the couple had broken up just weeks before Alba got pregnant because Warren couldn’t keep Mr. Bigglesworth in his pants. I guess drilling one of the most beautiful women on the planet just isn’t enough sometimes. Alba better keep that boy on a tight leash. Derober would like to wish the Jessica and Cash a happy marriage and a speedy divorce. I give the whole thing 7 months.

Jessica Alba is pregnant.

~Roll mouse over photo to derobe~

Dee:
It looks like it’s just me reporting this one. John and Leo are in their bedrooms sobbing quietly and throwing away all their Alba memorabilia. The rumors are true, People is reporting that Jessica Alba and Cash Warren are going to have a lil’ tot. The boo is due in late spring or early summer. We wish them the best of luck and a healthy child (John just nodded his head in agreement.) Derober has obtained an exclusive photo of the conception. Click on the thumb above for all the action.