Derober

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Darby Gunpowder:
Dina Lohan (Lindsay Lohan’s mom) and her daughter (Lindsey Lohan’s sister) were escorted out of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 after-party for pretending to be famous and being royal bitches. According to E! Online, the Karma went down like this:

Sources report that when Dina, Ali and a friend of Ali’s arrived to the after-party, they sat down at a reserved table. A studio staffer politely asked her to change tables, but “Dina “went apes–t,” a partygoer tells me. “It so wasn’t cool.”
So not cool that “Dina was quietly removed” from the rooftop soiree, another source says.

Attention Hollywood: if you see Dina on the streets or in your neighborhood crack-house, do America a favor and douse her with water. Nothing special, just tap-water. You don’t need to dump a bucket of AIDS or botulism on her (save that for Heidi and Spencer) -just your crappy VOSS water. Trust me it will do the trick. If you do not have water, conjure up some spit and make sure she’s downwind. This will disable her until others come by with a bucket o water. Dismissed.

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Just when you thought it was safe to go to the beach, Ali and Dina Lohan reared their ugly heads. The two fame leaches visited Malibu beach today in hopes of stealing some of Lindsey’s press. But no one steals from Lindsay. Rumor has it Lindsay is forming a counter strike as we speak. We don’t know many of the details but apparently a call was made to Kim Jong-Il and an alliance is brewing.

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Darby Gunpowder:
Dina Lohan may or may be possessed by the devil herself. In filming her new reality shit-show, Living Lohan, Dina was captured by photogos in some ceremonial death-soul-quenching-convulsion-dance at a Harlem church. During the dance she transformed from a dainty MILF to the spawn of Satan: The Crypt Keeper. Her other daughter, Ali, sat quietly in the corner crying while drinking goats blood from a hollowed out skull.