Dolly Parton has back pain, postpones tour

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Dolly Parton has fallen ill with an extreme case of irony. She has postponed her North American concert tour due to back pain.
No she did not sleep wrong or shovel wet cement, her massive mammaries are finally paying her back for all her years of success.

“Hey, you try wagging these puppies around a while and see if you don’t have back problems,”

the 62 year old phenom said in a statement.