Whacha’ got under the hood, Liz Hurley?

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John:
Liz Hurley showed up at the Global Illumination event in London with some global illumination of her own. Yes, that is a dead clown in her cleavage. Some people thought he was diving for pearls. Nope, dead. I don’t know if Liz has an actual acting career to speak of. She seems to be frittering her time away at social events trying to score some blow and another acting job. As long as she does it with her rack spilling out onto the red carpet, I don’t give a shit what she does or what Mariachi band she does it with.

What’s with the all the clothes, Elizabeth Hurley?

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John:
Elizabeth Hurley is hot. I’ll defend her hotness until she shrivels and/or is no longer hot. But I have a beef with her today. Liz is shown arriving for the Pink Ribbon Charity Ball to support Breast Cancer. So where are her breasts?  Before you go thinking I’m an asshole, I am. And I want to see those turbo-charged, bonkers, MILF titties hanging onto a skimpy dress for dear life like they did in that one awesome movie, Bedazzled. And if anybody tells me Bedazzled isn’t an epic boob masterpiece, I will bear-chest man fight you to the death. Fact.

Elizabeth Hurley has still got it

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John:
There’s an art to the dress dive, people. Success is never guaranteed. Liz Hurley let the sweater kittens out for some air over the weekend. Her recent run in with the air brush is behind her and she’s moving forward like the epic MILF she is.

Elizabeth Hurley: Photoshop spokeswoman

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Darby Gunpowder:
42 year-“young”, Elizabeth Hurley loves Photoshop as much as we do. There’s no doubt these bikini photos have been graced with the “Healing Brush” (Photoshop term). Liz will tell you herself,

Shooting bikinis is now my life, which as you can imagine is unmitigated hell. But if you signed on for the gig, sadly, you have to go and be jolly in a skimpy white bikini. So now I rely on nice photographers and a certain amount of retouching.

I don’t mind if you want to make me a bit thinner and a bit younger. We all like to get rid of spots and shadows under our eyes. But I’ve always been quite particular I don’t like my face to be retouched.

Every time I download my holiday snaps I go over them.”

Haaa-Chooo-Narcissist! *sneeze* As a professional photo retoucher myself, I have “fixed” thousands of photos. I see nothing wrong with giving yourself a little edge on the competition, but when you get your personal “holiday” photos retouched, you have issues. Seek help Liz.

Shameless personal plug:
For before and after photos of celebrities who went under the Photoshop knife visit my other website retouchfx.com and click on the celebrity page under “Portfolios”.