Derober

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
I’m going to level with all of you, this news has about as much appeal to me as a mosquito that just acquired AIDS from a African American exchange student. Upsetting? Now you know I how feel. So the big news of the day is that Harry Potter star Emma Watson has just discussed that life after Hermione might involve doing nudity. According to the London Times Emma said about doing a nude scene,

So in 20 years’ time, I can quite easily see her being a brilliant lawyer or civil servant — in a good way, of course — and perhaps she sees it too. “I have enough to hold me together without fame,” she says. “I have a really supportive family and a full life away from Harry Potter. It’s unlikely that I’ll be part of anything this big ever again, so I need to deal with that. I’m not going to take a job just because, shit, I’m not doing anything else.” She still loves acting, naturally — she would even, steady chaps, go nude. “Yes,” she says. “For Bernardo Bertolucci. It . . . depends. I’m not getting my kit off any time soon, but it is part of my job.”

Well shit, there goes the planet. I’d get more entertainment watching two antelopes finger bang each other on the discovery channel but if watching 18 year olds with no complexion, tits or ass is your thing then by all means this is cause for celebration. Congrats. Whosa big winna…you awwe you awwe.

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Hermione’s is now legal and on the market. For her 18th birthday she was awarded access to the nearly $20 million she made for the Harry Potter series. I’ve been doing laundry and performing squat thrusts all day. And in case you’re reading Emma, yes, my portfolio is looking stout. My ’86 Oldsmobile Custom Cruiser always has room for one more so give me a call.

UPDATE:
We have some photos from Hermione’s 18th birthday at Automat including 1 we must mark NSFW for all the perverts (myself included).

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John:
Ok, Ok, so it’s not her birthday for another month. With an occasion this big, you can’t take any chances. You see that Emma did not respond well to the confetti or the hat. Too childish. Lesson learned. We need something that says, ‘You’re still young, but sophisticated.’ Emma spent her 17 11/12th birthday at Empire Awards in London over the weekend.
The Derobers will run more ‘Emma drills’ drills until the big day on April 15th. Remember, practice makes perfect.