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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Leave it to our field reporter Tyrone the tit-loving T-Rex to spot a nip slip from a mile away. Halle Berry’s chocolate gumdrop nipples are about as subtle as a freight train slamming into a pile of glow-in-the dark dildos on a moonless night. I’ll give you a second to let the imagery settle in…..got it…….yeah, just like that. Anyways, I heard Halle once got paid a million dollars to show her tits in the movie Swordfish. But like my Grand Pappy Winston used to tell me, ‘why buy the bull when you can have the sex for free.’ The internet is a wonderful thing isn’t it kids. Look for Halle to nip-slip in a theatre near you when her new movie Frankie and Alice drops. Or do that other thing you do, you know, avoid this movie as if it were an AIDS infected pile of shit. Got it? Good.

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Darby Gunpowder:
The “gods” at Esquire have bestowed the 2008 Sexiest Woman of the year: Halle Berry. Ummmm, sexy -yes. Sexiest -not so much. Although Halle does have a shape to her, I can list 52 people in front of her who are more deserving of the “honor” -12 of them are in the Hooters 2008 Calendar and the another 12 are in the Mormons Exposed 2008 Calendar. I guess they are just trying to one-up People magazine for their terrible decision to make Matt Damon the sexiest man alive in 2007.

Did you ever look at a mascot and wonder what they might look like in real life? Derober has the answers. For the answers just roll your mouse over the photo and enjoy.

Editor’s Note: This is not where the celebrities attended college as most of them featured do not and have the education of a 2nd grader in a third world country…

Butch T. Cougar, Washington State

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Sparty the Spartan, Michigan State

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Hairy Dawg, University of Georgia

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Lil’ Red, University of Nebraska (New mascot)

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Continue Reading: Look-alikes, college mascots and celebrities

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Nope. I’m just an ass. I call this tit slaloming. And it’s all the rage in the Ukraine. With some luck it will be an American sport by the 2012 Olympics in London. The sport takes uncanny hand to eye coordination and a tit intensive attitude–aka, the ‘winning way.’ Training can be grueling as well. It includes (but is not exclusive to) groping reps, nipple tweaking, breast half-piping, milk showers, and the infamous boob grind–my personal favorite, just FYI. So when all hope is lost in your life just remember there may be light at the end of the tunnel. Or at least some big ol titties.

Halle Berry’s breasts have their own ecosystem

I know we’ve all seen the gratuitous Halle cleavage before…but never such an extreme angle. She improves the image of pregnant women everywhere.

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John:
Halle Berry finally passed a bowling ball through an exhaust pipe this morning. The baby’s name has not yet been released. Since Halle is a star, its will probably be named after an exotic fruit or an adjective. Halle will sell the photos to People for a couple million and forget to give all the money to charity. Congrats, Halle! Get hot again soon! We have some suggestions below.