Derober

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Photo credit: Bitten and Bound
John:
Federal consumer safety watchdogs are investigating claims that Hannah Montana toys contain high levels of lead. The line posted nearly a hundred million in revenues last year. Wow. Paint on five of 28 products tested, including a Girls Rock backpack sold at Walmart.com and a Secret Star wallet from toys R Us, were found to contain up to fourteen times the federal standard for lead.
Are you kidding me? I just purchased the Hannah Montana Backstage Makeover Kit. You know the one I got for my six year old niece with fair skin? I can’t just have her take all that makeup off. It’s caked on for Christ’s sake. She loves it. It’s only an accusation, right? Look man, I can’t talk about this now, I gotta’ run to the store to get some Benedryl for my niece. She’s breaking out and I think it might be chicken pox.

As always, Miley Cyrus’ leaked MySpace pictures will accompany any press she ever gets…ever.

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Dee:
Prediction: Miley Spears Cyrus, will be the next Hollywood manufactured tween to spin off the planet. The Hannah Montana star got her shiny little credit card swiped through a tree shredder when her has-been father, Billy, found out she purchased an $11,350 Prada bag. I can’t knock Billy for trying to put his foot down, but let’s face it, this is a sign of greedy times to come for this rising star. Pagesix reports:

Miley Cyrus still gets punished like every other teenager! After her parents, Billy Ray and Leticia Cyrus, found out that the tween star had splurged on a pricey crocodile Prada bag (one style costs $11,350), they cut up all of her credit cards!
Continue Reading: Billy Ray drops the hammer on Miley Cyrus

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• Would somebody please tell Miley to stop posting pictures on the internet
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• Hannah Montana toys under investigation for high levels of lead
• Miley Cyrus apologizes for topless Vanity Fair shoot

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Leo says:
Tweens (and their moms) across the country are up in arms about 3rd party ticket agencies swooping in and buying out nearly all of Hanna Montana’s concert tickets leaving true fans heartbroken. These digital scalpers bought-out the $60 tickets within minutes of going on sale and are reselling them for $350 - $2500 each. Hanna has not been reached for comment, but we’re sure she would pretend to be pissed while secretly celebrating the mass sell out behind closed doors. I think Montana should take matters into her own hands on go on a rampage and scalp the scalpers -literally. Take a stand Montana and do something about it -don’t be a pussy like your shit eating dad, Billy Ray.

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