50 million just isn’t enough to live on these days. Heather fights for more

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Wow, the power of the angry and bitter ex surprises even me. As if getting fifty million dollars for marrying a Beatle wasn’t enough, Heather “Two-Face” Mills wants more. Her friends say she is ‘seriously considering’ filing an appeal…but it’s not really about the money. She is more upset about who will care for Beatrice if both she and Paul died.” Oh well F#$% my bleeding heart, Heather. Really?? All these years of divorce disputing were really just to secure your daughter’s care taker. While your at it, why don’t you just claim “Mo money mo problems”. It worked for the Diddy.

Here’s a claim, I sleep with women just so we can spoon afterwards. Cuz that’s the pay-off for me. Two-Face.

Fill in the blank. Heather Mills is a ____-______

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
According to perezhilton.com, Paul McCartney’s ex-wife and former leech Heather Mills is set to collect $50 million from her bitter divorce. In a statement I made up, Sir Paul said, “You try to be reasonable. You try to be nice. But sometimes in life you meet a girl with a head like an onion. They make you cry. And no matter how much you wince in pain and beg for it to stop, the onion only gets worse. I thank God that when the day is over I will always be a Beatle, and not some trashy ‘leggy blond’ whore who just ran off with 50 million dollars of my money.”

Thanks Paul, your words cut through me like a knife to a warm stick of butter.

The official settlement will be announced at a London court this Monday.

A judge put their fate in his hands after both parties were unable to reach an agreement.

Heather Mills is under the gun

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Photo courtesy of evilbeetgossip.com.

For those of you Beatles loving / Heather Mills hating people out there, this story is sure to make you happy. Apparently the money-grubbing whore might have a lawsuit against herself for a change. Her former lawyers have threatened to sue her if she doesn’t pay them their legal bills, which they say are well overdue. The total bill after tax for Heather…$4 million! Oops Heather, you may have spread yourself a little thin on this whole ordeal.

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Here’s an idea Heather, don’t F with a Beatle. It’s like trying to sue the pope. I tried it once and now I’m going to Hell. By the way, now might be a good time to take Paul’s settlement offer.