Britney and Heidi release duet for the ages

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
This morning Ryan Seacrest unleashed a titanic dump on the world via a Britney Spears/Heidi Montag Duet. The results were…unstable. Scientists are reporting the San Andreas fault just doubled in width. Meanwhile, Britney is denying that she gave Heidi permission to release the song. But like a fart on ‘taco Tuesday’ the song just won’t go away. It seeps into our collective minds and stains our underpants with ruthless disregard for the law. Good luck, listeners, and Godspeed.

Spencer Pratt & Heidi Montag coming out with video game

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It’s official Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are from Neptune. The couple is releasing a video game starring themselves. Hopefully the game is called, “Kill Heidi and Spencer and get points and win”

Here’s what Spencer told US Weekly,

“We’re definitely developing the Heidi and Spencer video game,” Pratt told last week at video game giant Electronic Arts’ Burnout Paradise pre-Valentine’s Day lounge in L.A. “It’s top secret. Let’s just say that everyone will be addicted. You can definitely play as us or you can play against us,” Pratt said. “You can even torture me.”

He said “there’s going to be two versions: the adult version and the one for minors,” adding, “just be ready, that’s all I have to say.”

Expect the game to hit shelves in 2009, Pratt said, “right around Christmastime, probably.”

God help us all.

Montag video hits #7 on iTunes. She’s still #1 in our book.

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Heidi’s video for her song “Higher” was iTune’s #7 hit. But Heidi wasn’t all smiles about what’s been said about her since the release of her McVideo:

“I just started sobbing uncontrollably,” The Hills star tells Us.
“I cried myself to sleep that first night after my video came out,” she says. “I just couldn’t understand why people I didn’t even know felt the need to be so cruel and hurtful toward me.”
“I am just a 21-year-old from a small town in Colorado trying to follow her dreams,” Montag says.

Heidi Montag singing music video – NOT A JOKE

Warning: You’re ears will explode if you have the volume turned on.
Earplugs are highly recommended.

Heidi, Spencer, and the doomed wedding.

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The “wedding” between Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt has been called off according to US Weekly. The two are claiming to still be a couple but the wedding plans are off.

Grim Reaper:
When the producers of ‘The Hills‘ asked me to be on the show, I was so excited. Huge fan. I asked ’em, “Now, do you want me to kill Spencer and Heidi, or should I just kill the marriage?” I only wanted to know because killing Spencer would be right up there with the time I whacked Napoleon, the little prick. But I was happy to just kill the marriage and get my SAG card.