No one leaves ‘The Hef’…nobody

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
In case you haven’t heard, Hef’s hot whore girl next door Holly Madison high tailed and ran away from Hugh to make cocky, talentless, alien retard babies with Chriss Angel. That’s right, Hugh Hefner lost his girl to a magician. Somebody check my head for tumors. No one knows for sure if Holly found Chriss or if Chriss found Holly and stole her away but quite frankly who the f$ck cares? All I need to know, Hef, is…does that mean the Playboy mansion is back open for business?? Please, God make it so.

Party’s over at the Playboy Mansion…single tear.

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Darby Gunpowder:
Don’t read this if you are having a shitty day already, as it may drive you over the edge. OK, for all you people who were having a good day, let me be the first to ruin it:
Hef and Holly have announced they won’t be throwing anymore lavish parties at the Playboy mansion. It’s the end of THE era. For all the men in the world who have creamed dreamed of attending the Midsummer Nights Dream Party or the Halloween bash at the Playboy mansion -you can flush those dreams down the toilet with your Hot Pockets. According to,

“After decades of some of the wildest parties, Hugh Hefner is reportedly pulling the plug, and this Halloween will be the last party the mansion hosts.

“Playboy Enterprises has decided that this party (Midsummer Night’s Dream) and the upcoming annual Halloween party will be the last that the magazine mogul personally throws as a means to cut costs.”

That may be why they sold tickets for last weekend’s Midsummer Night’s Dream soiree–to raise some mullah! It was the first time in Playboy history that tickets were sold for the ultra exclusive party.”

It is rumored that the mansion will be available to rent out for private parties. will be holding a fund raiser for all mankind to rent the place out this coming year. So get your checkbooks leather zipper masks out. Lets do the damn thing.

For tons of sweet pics of the Playboy mansion behind the scenes, click here.

Hugh Hefner biopic needs to be played by man of Iron

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
When I think of Hugh Hefner words like charm, class, charisma, and tits come to mind (not necessarily in that order). So in Hef’s upcoming biopic it would take a man with similar attributes to successfully fill his shoes. Enter man of Iron and former ‘most F#cked up actor in Hollywood’ award recipient Robert Downey Jr. It’s a fit made in heaven. And although Downey is not a lock for the roll yet something tells me that Hef has Downey a couple of offers he can’t refuse. And by ‘couple’ I mean tits–just so we’re straight on that one. Apperently Hugh saw Downey in the new Iron Man movie and admired his humor and skill in showing his vulnerability. And though this is all unofficial at this point, sources said that Hefner has signed off on Downey to play him in the movie, which is currently called Boob Man Playboy–it’s a working title so lets not rush to judgment yet. And all I can say is that I..AM…IN. A living legend played by one of Hollywood’s great maverick actors with that other special thing–oh yeah, titties! This could be the next Godfather.

Pam Anderson Strips for Hugh Hefner

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Darby Gunpowder:
I have a feeling my future children will read about Pamela Denise Anderson in their history books. The 40-year-old dropped trou and surprised Hugh Hefner for his 82 birthday -with a buck-naked lap dance at the Palms. Good thing the ol’ bastard is used to seeing titties all day and night because the shock of seeing Pammy in her birthday suit could have seized his ticker.

According to the Sun UK,

“The former Baywatch star, 40, who has appeared nude on the cover of Playboy magazine 12 times, gave him the steamy lap dance at a Las Vegas casino.
As Hefner walked into his luxury suite, she walked out of a bedroom β€” wearing only high-heel shoes.
Hotel owner George Maloof, 43, said: β€œHe was stunned and had the biggest smile I’ve ever seen.”

Well done Pam. Happy birthday Hugh. Now if you’ll excuse my I have some candid birthday photos to Google on the internet.

Star Maps: Playboy Mansion address

10236 Charing Cross Rd. Beverly Hills, CA 90024
Click Here for Directions to the Playboy Mansion

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Playboy Mansion
Year Built:
Current Value:
Square Feet:
Sins Committed:
14,345,756. (and counting)
Yearly Property Tax:
$60,310For the 99.9% of the world who will never visit the Playboy mansion, Derober would like to at least give you the address and driving directions to the holy of holies….just in case you feel like sneaking into Hef’s next party, here’s directions to the Playboy Mansion.

Most photographs of the Playboy Mansion are courtesy of badass photographer, Adam Latham, who promised to bring the Derobers the next time he visits Hef πŸ˜‰ Visit his site -or else!