Derober

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John:
Jamie Lynn Spears has a guest spot on the upcoming ABC sitcom Miss Guided. E! gives the plot synopsis:

Becky (the guidance counselor, played by Judy Greer) helps Mandy get into state college, but the substitute Spanish teacher (played by Ashton Kutcher) convinces her not to go because she’ll be “brainwashed by a bunch of dead white men.”
She rewards herself for her decision by hooking up with a second guy, James.

I smell an Emmy nomination. According to Jamie herself, she’s the best qualified for the role because, “I know tons of stuff about learning.”
Truer words were never spoken.

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Jamie Lynne Spears breezed through her GED and passed. Woo Hooooo! And I just finished a paint by number and stayed within the lines! Woo Hoooooo! Close sources say,

“She wants to take her ACT. She’s not wasting any time. People don’t know her. When she gets something in her head, she’ll make it happen.”

She must have got a baby in her head. . . I smell Mensa.

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Dee:
Not surprisingly the forth season of Zoey 101 will NOT be canceled due to Jamie Lynn Spears’ pregnancy and greed. Nickelodeon has decided that it’s cool to be a pregnant Tween. In fact, they are encouraging all NON-pregnant, unmarried, young ladies ages 12-17 to get knocked up as soon as possible. You’re not in the “in-crowd” unless you have at least one bastard.

Leo:
On a serious note, when asked how the network will deal with Jamie’s growing waistline, the brilliant writers at Nickelodeon have written in a scene where Jamie gets a bug bite and swells up. No joke.

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Although bumf#*@k Arkansas may seem like a foreign country planet, it doesn’t mean you don’t tip there. But if you are Jamie Lynn Spears, I guess you are exempt from American common courtesy. According to Pagesix, Jamie left La Carreta mexican restaurant without leaving a dime for a tip.

“Jamie is not well-liked here,”

says waitress Brittanie Heaney, who makes just $2.37 an hour. She’s definitely pinching every penny she owns to pay for her bastard child now that her “career” is over.

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Dee:
The story keeps getting better. Star magazine is reporting that Casey is not the actual father of Jamie-Lynn’s baby. The magazine sites two separate family insiders who claim that, prior to conception, Casey and Jamie were barely on speaking terms. The sources are also claiming that the actual father is a much older man! Continue Reading: Casey not the father of Jamie-Lynn’s bastard child?

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