Van gets Dammed

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Anyone who knows me knows that I lost my virginity to the ‘Blood Sport’ soundtrack back in my early twenties. There’s nothing more inspiring than the sound of Jean Claude Van Damme (aka Lionheart) whipping up on over confidant rednecks while your magic stick performs its epic one liner. The woman is now in a psychiatric ward, and I’m still a badass. But as for Jean Claude, he’s still flexing his acting muscles any chance he gets. He is in a new movie entitled JCVD which is getting good press at the Cannes film festival. In it, he plays a fictional version of himself that struggles to deal with real life problems that can’t be solved with high kicks and gratuitous flexing (blasphemy!). And all I can say is where do I sign up? Screw the new Indiana Jones movie. And Who needs Batman? Van Damme is back with a fist of fury and a heart full of love–to kill.

BTW–this picture of me ripping Damme’s groin in half is just playful banter. I’ve just always wanted to see what the trainer from ‘Kick Boxer’ felt like. But the Damme and I are on good terms. We go way back.