Derober

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John:
Generally, when somebody is riding a magical flying seahorse toward your cleavage, you take notice. However, Aniston was just too busy enjoying the pool boys to care. Don’t get me wrong, we’re grateful that Aniston rocks the bikini. She could be like Katie Holmes who is apparently no longer allowed to wear dresses above her ankles, such is tradition in the Mennonite/Xenu culture.

So I guess what I’m driving at is a thank you here. Thanks for hottin’ up my Monday, Jen. Check’s in the mail.

For all Derober Dress Diving episoded, click here.

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Well despite my best efforts John Mayer has managed to hook up with another knock-out. According to In Touch magazine, John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston are inseparable. John flew in to Miami just this past weekend to visit Jen at her $3,000 a night presidential suite at the Mandarin Oriental. For the record John was checked in at the Four Seasons, but spent nearly all his time with Jen. And when asked about his weekend fling with Jennifer in Miami John smiled and said, “My weekend was good.”

Well played John. You bagged one hell of a cougar. Looks like your secret is safe for a little bit longer.

Comments (2)

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Darby Gunpowder:
Something weird happened to me today…someone sent me a photo of Jennifer Aniston in a bikini, but I couldn’t find Jennifer Aniston. The photo was clearly labeled: Jennifer-Aniston-in-white-bikini-spread-eagle. All I could see was this girl lying out wearing a blue and white striped bikini, but I don’t think it’s Jen. Go ahead, give it a shot -try your best to find Jennifer Aniston in this photo. If you can find her, please circle her and email me with the phone number of the girl in the striped bikini.

In completely unrelated news, some badass artist created a real life version of Jessica Rabbit…and she’s smokin hot. Click here to check out the pic. Great tits.

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John:
Finally, we can put all the rumors about Aniston not wanting kids to bed . In yo’ face, Brad! Jen took a break from filming her new movie, Nobody’s Going to See This Movie, to spend some QT with her litter. Ahhh, that’s the life. Drink up the success, piggies.

Seven Diamond asshole Brendon at WWTDD said something about Jen’s ass today so funny I feel compelled to link to it, and not just because we stole these photos from him and didn’t leave a quarter on the toilet seat if you know what I mean.

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Dee:
Whether this is true or not, there is a funny rumor going around that ‘Friends’-less star Jennifer Aniston wants a baby bad. How bad you ask?? Bad enough that she’s shopping the semen superhighway looking for a sperm donor. According to damnimcute, a source close to Aniston said,

“With her biological clock now ticking urgently, Jen’s weighing up the relative qualities of all her male friends to soon make the decision which of them is her best bet as a sperm donor.

“Looks, intelligence and personality are all in the equation because she wants beautiful, bright children to make her life complete. Once she’s reached a decision, she’ll pop the question to a surprised bachelor, explaining she doesn’t want marriage - just babies.”

“While Jen may have soured on marriage after her divorce from Brad Pitt, she’s still desperate to start a family. She has a beautiful mansion complete with nursery all fitted out, millions in the bank and a select band of eligible guys, one of whom she’ll soon pick to be a daddy.”

The list of semen suitors include boyfriend Jason Lewis and ex-boyfriends Paul Sculfor and Vince “Family Friendly” Vaughn.

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Jennifer, a source close to me said I, “rock the casbah”. Look no further for a donor, for I am your man

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