Derober

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John:
Finally, we can put all the rumors about Aniston not wanting kids to bed . In yo’ face, Brad! Jen took a break from filming her new movie, Nobody’s Going to See This Movie, to spend some QT with her litter. Ahhh, that’s the life. Drink up the success, piggies.

Seven Diamond asshole Brendon at WWTDD said something about Jen’s ass today so funny I feel compelled to link to it, and not just because we stole these photos from him and didn’t leave a quarter on the toilet seat if you know what I mean.

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Dee:
Whether this is true or not, there is a funny rumor going around that ‘Friends’-less star Jennifer Aniston wants a baby bad. How bad you ask?? Bad enough that she’s shopping the semen superhighway looking for a sperm donor. According to damnimcute, a source close to Aniston said,

“With her biological clock now ticking urgently, Jen’s weighing up the relative qualities of all her male friends to soon make the decision which of them is her best bet as a sperm donor.

“Looks, intelligence and personality are all in the equation because she wants beautiful, bright children to make her life complete. Once she’s reached a decision, she’ll pop the question to a surprised bachelor, explaining she doesn’t want marriage – just babies.”

“While Jen may have soured on marriage after her divorce from Brad Pitt, she’s still desperate to start a family. She has a beautiful mansion complete with nursery all fitted out, millions in the bank and a select band of eligible guys, one of whom she’ll soon pick to be a daddy.”

The list of semen suitors include boyfriend Jason Lewis and ex-boyfriends Paul Sculfor and Vince “Family Friendly” Vaughn.

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Jennifer, a source close to me said I, “rock the casbah”. Look no further for a donor, for I am your man

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John Says:
Jennifer Aniston needs a change of venue. She’s tired of dreary old LA and planning to move to the Big Apple. Says Aniston, “I’m tired of driving in the same car, looking at the same dashboard, driving down the same street.” That sounds a lot like our lives when we’re GOING TO OUR HOUSES. A notable difference is that Jen’s car is a tricked out Range Rover. The dashboard is playing porn on a plasma screen, and that “some old street” takes her to a multi-million dollar mansion in Malibu. We wish her the best. I’m sure she’ll skate by… maybe get a job moonlighting at Carnegie Deli. We also heard the Naked Cowboy is hiring a Tonto.