Oscar coverage, the afterbirth

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John:
Oscar nominated actress Jessica Alba and three-time lotto winner Cash Warren arrived at the Oscars to the hushed tones of nobody giving a shit. I swear, he’d better be hung like a mule deer.

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We finally figured out what it takes to be George Clooney’s flavor of the week.

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Words are pretty useless here. Heigl looks amazing. Her tiny husband had better also be hung like a mule deer.

What’s wrong with this picture?

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Just a day in the life of a superstar. WTF kind of world do we live in??

Jessica Alba: Self-proclaimed, ‘Most Boring Chick Ever’

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Dee:
Jessica Alba gave Elle magazine an earful on the paparazzi in this month’s issue:

“[The paparazzi are] F#*@ers! They do this [follow] to me every day. And every day there’s no story. I’m not doing drugs. I’m not running over people. I’m not going to clubs. I’m not dating anyone famous. I’m not doing anything interesting! I don’t get it. I’m the most boring chick ever.”

John:
HOWEVER, In a recent interview, Jessica claims she wants to be known as a tough girl. Jessica says, “Underneath I’d prefer to be known for something else, like being tough or being smart.” Alba doesn’t stop there. She says, “I’d rather slay a guy with my fists than my looks.” Do you want to be boring or a man-slayer, Jess? You can’t be both. Take a long look in the mirror and reflect. Or roll your mouse over this here picture.

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Photo courtesy of egotastic.com

Jessica Alba is pregnant.

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Dee:
It looks like it’s just me reporting this one. John and Leo are in their bedrooms sobbing quietly and throwing away all their Alba memorabilia. The rumors are true, People is reporting that Jessica Alba and Cash Warren are going to have a lil’ tot. The boo is due in late spring or early summer. We wish them the best of luck and a healthy child (John just nodded his head in agreement.) Derober has obtained an exclusive photo of the conception. Click on the thumb above for all the action.

Jessica Alba tired of being sex symbol–would rather be known as tough and smart

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Photo courtesy of egotastic.com

Dee:
Jessica Alba wants desperately to trade in her sex symbol status for a brand new pair of tough and smart. What exactly do I mean, in an interview the 26-year-old actress admits she would prefer to win a man’s heart with her fists rather than her looks:

I’d rather slay a guy with my fists than knock him out with the way I look. I know people like what they see and I’m totally happy to dress up and look sexy but I just see it as playing a part. “Underneath I’d prefer to be known for something else, like being tough or being smart. It makes me feel more confident to know I can hold my own in a fight than it does to look in the mirror and think I look beautiful.”

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Jessica wants to play the ‘look at me, I’m sophisticated’ card, huh. Well…good luck with that. I’m sure it will work out seeing as guys go to your movies for your cunning wit and ‘fists’. So I say, knock yourself out girl; in a few more years you’ll come crawling back to reclaim your sex-symbol status…but, who knows, the public might never give it back.

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