Romo isn’t done playing with fun-bags

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Darby Gunpowder:
It’s true what they say about playing down to someone’s level, not only in sports, but relationships in general. Jessica Simpson’s down syndrome is rubbing off on Tony Romo. The couple is back together again according to the laws of being seen together in public. According to Derober’s biggest rival, Perez Hilton:

“Sources reveal exclusively to PerezHilton.com that the blonde has spent the past couple of days in Dallas with the Cowboys quarterback.

On Saurday night, the couple – looking “relaxed” but not “lovey dovey” – had dinner together at N9Ne steakhouse.

Then, on Sunday, sources tell us that Tony & Yoko Romo had brunch together at Sneaky Petes in Lewisville, TX.

After galavanting through Chicago recently with beautiful babies, Romo remembered how much he loved motorboating Daisy Duke herself. Who can blame the guy???

Jessica Simpson cannot find her nipple

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Darby Gunpowder
While vacationing in Cabo, Jessica Simpson nearly had a heart attack when she could not find her nipple which is usually attached to her breast. Good thing I am a licensed areologist. Eureka! Roll your mouse over the above photos to prove my findings. If there are any other women who are having trouble locating their mammilla, please email me or spotlight the night sky with my calling card and I will be summoned.

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Tony Romo realizes he’s the Cowboy’s QB once again–dumps Jessica

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Jessica Simpson
dumped by Tony Romo–take two!! OK, so we’re not sure how many times we will have to report that Tony dumped Jessica. But I’m guessing it will be a cool baker’s dozen. Eventually it will get so bad that every time a cow rips ass in Montana the papz will report that Tony split from Jessica again. Anyways, according to sources one of Romo’s buddies told the press that while drinking in Chicago Romo dissed Jessica’s mating skills and broke up with her over the phone. Another source elaborated on the night,

Tony Romo was in town, and he was bar hopping with some buddies of his from Chicago. He had the nerve to put Jessica on speakerphone and talk about their sex life with all his guys listening and laughing at her. Not only is this girl dumb, but she is completely self conscious about her bedroom skills. After a few too many drinks, he told everyone he and Jessica are over. They are taking a “break.” He could never see himself being serious and marrying this girl. He’s just having fun with her. It’s funny everyone is talking about them getting married when they are completely over. Sorry Jessica, Tony had his fun with you, and now is on to bigger and better things.

Jessica is so gorgeous that for her to be called out in bed she would literally have lie dormant and snore while having sex. And even then I’d let it go. But that’s why I’m in front of a computer and Tony is preparing for another season with the Cowboys.

BTW, in honor of my Indian-a heritage–GO COLTS!

How can this get any hotter?

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John:
Jessica Simpson rang in Tony Romo’s 28th birthday by singing him a song (badly) and starting a food fight. She licked the cake off Romo’s face like a pro, starting at the base of his neck and then working her way up, gently caressing his ears and keeping her teeth and hair out of the equation. Zero teeth. Pro.

Jessica Simpson shaves nude when posing for photos

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Darby Gunpowder:
Jessica Simpson remade the classic Esquire cover a’la Virna Lisi shaving her face. All you need to know is that it’s hot and bloody steamy. It looks like she’s back to her fighting weight which is good because I can’t fantasize about skelotor on my best day.
Enjoy the pics and make sure to click on the thumbs to see the slightest of nip slips. Disclaimer: For trained eyes only.