Derober

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John:
Kate Hudson hit the beaches in Hawaii with her new boyfriend, pro golfer Adam Scott. I know all he’s thinking about is how he can’t wait to be done with all the beach nonsense so he can get back to the room, that ass, and some mutherf*ckin’ Wii bowling. I threw that last part in for show but I always like to wash down a good session of filth-making with some Wii bowling. Cuddling is so 1997. 

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John:
Normally, the Derobers go dress diving in a sure bet; a field of epic boobage so big that our landing is always assured. But curiosity and thirst for danger got the best of me. We all know that Kate Hudson’s ass is the 8th wonder of the world, but the size of her boobs is a mystery. I had to know if she was smuggling some hose hounds under there.
What you don’t see here is me falling though a flat chest and out the ass end of a shitty pink spring dress. Thanks for not having any air fun bags, Kate.

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Leo:
Warning: if you are a celebrity and have a microscopic bulge in the belly region, you’re probably pregnant with sextuplets. Rumors are floating around that Kate Hudson is pregnant because she now has 4% body fat instead of 3%. Kate’s brother Oliver took a time-out from being pissed at his parents for naming him Oliver to say this about the possible pregnancy,

“I will squash that right now,” he told “Extra.” “She is absolutely 100% not pregnant.”

Thanks Oly.

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John:
The two have been spotted out and about more than a couple times in the past week. This would be bad. How bad? I think Egon Spengler from Ghostbusters summed it up best:

“Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light. Total protonic reversal.”

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Photo courtesy of thesuperficial.com

Dee:
After a small stint with Owen Wilson, and her most recent fling with Dax Shephard, Kate Hudson is now reportedly dating Heath Ledger. You heard me, the new Joker himself. Page six reported, “Thursday night she only had eyes for Heath Ledger. Spies at Beatrice Inn said they spent their evening at the trendy watering hole “kissing and making out.”

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Hahaha, you must be kidding me Kate Hudson jumped from Owen Wilson (aka Bozo the Clown) to the new Joker in the upcoming Batman: The Dark Knight movie. Apparently Kate has a thing for guys in make-up. But at least she loves men for their personality, I’ll give her that much.
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