Derober

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Darby Gunpowder:
In a clever attempt to see Katherine Heigl’s resplendent cleavage, we planted a cute dog outside her WeHo home and low and behold -it worked! Check back next week, when we leave a box of “hidden-camera tampons” outside her door.

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John:
Everybody knows that the Derobers have had a few run-ins with Katherine Heigl that didn’t go well.
But this time I was only trying to help, I swear. Photos of her fat ass have been orbiting the blogosphere and I wanted to make her more proportional. That’s what 5″ tall sorcerers do. So I went to her house in Los Feliz, CA and she was listening to Jock Jams on her iPod…
She startled me. Never startle me when I’m sorcerering. I’ll f@ck it up every time.

Elsewhere in the network: The HOTTEST woman in England is barely wearing clothes here. MySpace girls vs. Celebs here.

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John:
Katherine Heigl took a break from pissing off the writers on Grey’s Anatomy to go to Cancun to piss off some Mexicans. Her hairy husband Josh Kelly accompanied her and together they discussed worldly issues like what a plummer is and how sweet potato fries are just plain better than regular fries. All and all, a pretty good day.

Watch Katherine get Derobed here

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John:
Smoker Katherine is seen here on the set of her new film, The Ugly Truth. As many of you know, the Derobers don’t think to highly of Heigl after meeting her a while back. She chose to smoke instead of sign autographs. That story here. All in, she has all the personality a small rock might have if you asked it to dance. So, here you go, Ms. Dumpy Bottom. Have a crap day.

For all the Derober ‘Dress Diving’ episodes, click here.

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Darby Gunpowder:
I have bad news for all you Katherine Heigl fans -she’s not very nice. I happened to be working at a photoshoot for “Knocked Up” a few moons back and had the opportunity to spend some quality time alone with her. She stepped outside to smoke a cigarette and I suddenly became a smoker for the day. I bummed a Marlboro Ultra Light and her lighter pretending she was a civilian like me. Before I could light up my cigarette, she was balls deep in her jewel-studded pink Sidekick yelling at her agent and I didn’t exist. That’s fine, she wanted to make a phonecall -she didn’t owe me, a complete stranger, any kind of smalltalk conversation. But that’s not why she’s mean. Two young teenage girls approached her (she’s still on the phone) and asked for her autograph. Annoyed, she simply shook her head no, and motioned that she was on the phone and the girls walked away a bit shocked and embarrassed
Dollars to donuts if there was a photographer around, she would have smiled and given her autograph in a heartbeat. Shame on you Katie.