Derober

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John:
K Fed of course. Here’s K Fed walking with his girlfriend whose name is not relevant. Other blogs are reporting that K Fed is having money problems but we prefer sticking to the basics.- Like how fat he got. This guy looks like a redneck I used to play softball with; you know the one who would bring a six pack to the game and finish it by the third inning? Yeah, just like that guy. 

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Darby Gunpowder:
In not-so-shocking news, the high courts decided that Britney’s kids are better off being raised by the lesser of 2 evils, Kevin Federline. Accorind to MSN,

Attorneys for Spears and ex-husband Kevin Federline met with a Los Angeles Superior Court commissioner in closed chambers Friday morning. A court spokesman says no formal settlement has been filed.

E! News is reporting that the parties agreed that Federline will get complete legal and physical custody of the two boys and Spears will have expanded visitation rights.

“The case has been settled,” Kaplan told E!. “The court still has to approve it.”

Spears will now have three visits a week from Sean Preston and Jayden James, with at least two overnight visits, her attorney, Laura Wasser, told The Associated Press. Spears was granted one overnight visitation per week in late June.

Although we tried our hardest to sneak into the courtroom, (Bob the Bitch’s assault rifle went off in metal detector) we’re sure K-Fed’s attorney’s just brought in the above photo and pointed to it. Done n done.

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Darby Gunpowder:
Prive nightclub in Las Vegas named Kevin Federline, “Father of the Year” -finally. R-Kelly came in a close second in the voting, but barely lost by a pre-pubic hair. Prive obviously chose Kevin as a whorific publicity stunt so sweet gossip sites like Derober would write about it. I guess it kinda worked…except what they didn’t anticipate was the bad press they would get if I wrote about the time my friend was ruffied at their club, gang-banged by their security staff and murdered. OK, none of that ever happened. See ya’ll there! Pimp Juice on me!

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Just when I think I’ve heard it all the great redneck hope Kevin Federline rears his ugly head. According to Us Magazine, K-Fed has reportedly been offered a role in the Tony-nominated musical Legally blonde. Us said:

The former backup dancer and aspiring hip-hop artist — who is hitting the gym after packing on “daddy weight,” ex Shar Jackson says — will test his song-and-dance chops in a trio of roles — including the UPS guy who inspires the “bend and snap.” “This is his chance to show the world what he can do,” says a pal.

I knew it, I knew one day K-Fed would take a torrential shit on us all. I just didn’t know it would come this soon. I have so much life ahead of me, and now this. K-Fed on Broadway. There goes the planet.

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John:
This just in from the wordsmiths at Agent Bedhead, Steve-O is challenging K-Fed to a duel. The battle of hyphenated names has begun.
K-Fed whose upcoming album, Hard as a Rock is – wait. His new album is called Hard as a Rock? Holy shit I just googled Hard as a Rock and the internet confirmed it (and also thinks I need Viagra. I do.)
Steve-O claims the battle will be, “Just like that scene from 8 mile.” Steve-O is notorious for being wrong about lots of things. But if we had to pick a winner…

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