What happened last night at Britney’s house???

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Photo courtesy of perezhilton.com.
Photo courtesy of tob.hollywood.com.

Dee:
This is where the line between celebrity gossip and heart breaking news is blurred. There’s no sense making a mockery out of this story so I’ll just get down to it. Last night around 7 PM TMZ reported that Britney Spears‘ Beverly Hills home was surrounded by police cars, fire trucks, an ambulance and a police chopper after Britney refused to give up her two kids, as per court orders, to K-Fed‘s bodyguard. After a four hour stand-off between Britney and the cops, which drew the the likes of Britney’s lawyers, K-fed, and the rest of the media world, Britney finally released her kids to Ferderline and the LAPD. It is around this time that the cops realized that Britney was ” under the influence of an unknown substance”. Continue Reading: What happened last night at Britney’s house???

K-Fed named ‘Details’ Magazine #7 most influential. Pop culture finds new low.

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Photo courtesy of people.com
Dee:
Good morning everybody! While you were sleeping the world turned upside down, pigs flew, and hell froze.K-Fed has been named Details Magazine’s #7 ‘Most Influential’ person under 45. The article claims, “oddly, he emerged as the father of the year.” ‘Odd’. Yes, that is one word. I thought you can only get named #7 if you can count that high? In case you’re wondering, the pic above was taken this year backstage at a K-Fed concert. Federline had enough drugs in him to put a horse down.Details declined to comment when we called, but they did offer us some Kool-Aid.

John:
Hi everybody I just woke up and… – Oh, my God! OH MY GOD! Dee, get into the cellar. NOW! Grab the canned goods and bottled water! Get the AM radio. Batteries? Where are the batteries?! There’s no time. I love you, Mom!

Britney Spears speaks in tongues

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Screenshot courtesy of britneyspears.com

Britney Spears
and K-Fed met in court on Friday for another child custody shit show. Brit once again proved she was insane all while trying to prove her competence as a mother. Really quite impressive:

When asked by an “Extra” reporter in the hallway outside a Los Angeles Superior courtroom as to how she was doing, Britney Spears shouted out, “”Eat it, lick it, snort it, f**k it!” Spears walked back into the courtroom crying.


Leo:

The power of Christ Compels You! Someone call for an Exorcism -this bitch is possessed.
I know it sounds horrible, but I have a vision that this poor girl will soon have an E! “True Hollywood Story”, ending in her tragic death if she doesn’t disappear Johnny Depp style for about 3-4 years. She could always flee to David Copperfield‘s private island…I heard that’s pretty secluded and safe.

K-Fed might get Kut off

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Photo courtesy of worth1000.com

John Says:
Here’s how it breaks down: K-Fed gets a $20,000 per month allowance in accordance with the pre-nup. Today TMZ uncovered documents that cut K-Fed off at the end of October for good. This story is developing but both Leo and I are praying for the day we go down head down to skid row and buy a dime bag from Fed-Ex.

Leo Says:
Dear Lord, please let me buy a dime bag from K-Fed on skid row and have a picture to prove it so I can post it on my blog and make America smile. Amen.