Derober

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
What you can’t see from these pictures is that Kim Kardashian is actually inhaling her food now. It’s hard to spot it but if you ever walk into a bathroom that Kim just walked out of you can actually see the lines of food on the counters. Sometimes cut, sometimes not. You name the food odds are Kardashian has inhaled it. Burgers, cakes, calamari, Big League Chew, 6 foot subs–ANYTHING. Oh, and don’t let that scarf fool you, she’s also being fed chili dogs and mint chocolate chip Oreos intravenously through a tube. Now kids, unless you’re trying to build a space station out of your ass like Kim I would strongly advise against this kind of calorie intake. Just not prudent.

Now here’s video footage of Kim Kardashian eating BEFORE she mastered the art of inhaling food.

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John:
OK, so here’s how it works: Kim Kardashian knows that the media is a making fun of her for her recent weight gain. So Kim woke up this morning and called a few paparazzos and told them exactly what gym she’d be hangin’ around. Then Kimmy walks outside the gym and gets her picture taken in her shitty workout outfit.
The tragedy is this is actually how Kim thinks you lose weight. She got home and told her mom all about how she put on her workout clothes and it felt so good and people took pictures. Kim was eating a chicken leg at the time so her mom could hardly understand her. But anyway, they day was magical and Kim was sure she lost like 2 lbs. while the paparazzi snapped away.

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John:
The Derobers usually don’t post on the weekend. I usually go ass spelunking with celebrities instead. Today I made a near fatal error. I was unaware that I was climbing on an ‘after’ photo of Kim Kardashian on vacation in Monaco. When the ‘before’ photo hit me, I lost control. I never learned to swim… the whole water idea just seemed silly to me. There are regrets. This whole thing was avoidable.

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Lord, say this rumor ain’t so. According to Kim Kardashian’s own website she just had “cellulite reduction” of the asscular kind. Now, those who know me know I have a love-hate relationship with Kardashian’s ass so this announcement is a bit bittersweet to me. But if it’s true than what the hell is the point of ever talking about Kim Kardashian? Why Bother?? It’s like talking about a flat chested Pamela Anderson. All VaVa, no Voom. I just hope if it is true that at least Kim’s left over ass doesn’t go to waste. Think what you could do with all that cellulite. You could open up your own candle store, provide shelter for Alaskan Eskimo, give a blue whale breast implants…the list is infinite. I guess Sir Mix-A-Lot said it best when he proclaimed,”I like big butts and I cannot lie…” I’m starting to see what he was talking about all those years ago.

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Ol’ Kim and her wrecking ball of an ass are up to their old tricks again. Whoring themselves out to anyone who will listen. In this case, it was a photo shoot in Australia for Ralph Magazine. I’d say it arouses about a 4.3 on my rictor scale. Nothing worth sweating over. But Kim’s cans are always worth a look..or two. So here’s to your boobs Kim, as my mid-afternoon cleavage appointment of the day. Thanks for coming out.

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