Kim Kardashian is two milk-shakes away from a real fat ass

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Bob ‘The Bitch‘:
It’s well known Kim Kardashian is renowned for having the ‘most edible ass’ in Hollywood. And I’d always viewed that title in a positive light, until today. Kim was spotted with NFL boy-toy Reggie Bush today by the pool. And I couldn’t help but notice that Kim’s ass looked more fat than phat. Is that cellulite I see? Maybe she’s trying to help Reggie train for next season by having him run laps around that track. That would make sense. Ok, calm down, Bob. Just breath and remember it’s only temporary. Yeah, temporary?

Kim Kardashian’s friends don’t get along.

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Dee:
When Kim got her report card back after finishing 6th grade (her last year of formal education) it read, “Kim doesn’t play well with others.” Indeed. This town’s only big enough for one ass.
John:
More than one Kim in a room is like two roosters in a cage. They will kill each other. It’s science.

Kim Kardashian’s ass is so fat…

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Kim’s ass is so fat, it has its own congressman.
Kim’s ass is so fat, she used the freeway to iron her underwear.
Kim’s ass is so fat, it sat next to everybody in school.
Kim’s ass is so fat, when she is done wiping her ass, the Charmin baby is in its late teens.

Kim Kardashian sued by Brandy’s mom

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Photo courtesy of thesuperficial.com.

Dee:
According to multiple sources, Kim Kardashian is being sued by R&B singer Brandy’s mom Sonja Norwood for borrowing her credit card and racking up a bill of over 120,000 dollars in the span of a year. According to Norwood, she gave Kim extensive time to settle the matter out of court; however, after much deliberation Kim decided to get an Orange Julius because it looked good with her dress and it accentuated her ass. As for the lawsuit, it’s no sweat off Kim’s ass. That’s what she has a daddy for.

Bob ‘The Bitch’
:
I’m trying to think of what value 120,000 dollars is to Kim Kardashian relative to me. Would it be like me buying a pair of shoes, or like me buying a pair of shoe laces? More importantly, could I buy an Orange Julius with that kind of money?

Reggie Bush about to be permanantly tackeled??

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Dee:
OK! magazine is reporting that NFL bust star, Reggie Bush, is officially engaged to Kim Kardashian. Kim, age 27, and Reggie, age 22, spent their New Year’s Eve together at a family mansion in Miami. This story, however, may be just that..a story, as Kim’s rep has denied the rumor.

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
This story is as fake as Reggie Bush’s Hall of Fame aspirations. Can you say BUST!?