Derober

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John:
Lauren Conrad and Stephanie Pratt went to the beach today and hooked up. It was gentle and loving. Both decided that they were strait but there we no regrets…

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Darby Gunpowder:
Just another reason I wrote my college thesis on David Letterman. Last night LC appeared on the Late Show and walked right into a bear trap. It’s common knowledge that Letterman loathes reality TV, most notably ‘The Hills’. We learned that when he made a balloon puppet out of Spencer Pratt.

Here are some memorable quotes from the interview/Chinese water torture:

On Lauren Conrad’s constant drama:
“That raises the question, maybe you’re the problem. You think? Let me give you an example from my own life. For a long time–10, 15, 30, 40 years–I thought, ‘Jeez people are idiots.’ And then it occurred to me, ‘Is it possible everyone’s an idiot?’ Maybe I’m the idiot.”

On Spencer Pratt:
“Spencer, what a weasel. He’s just the worst, that guy.”

On Brody Jenner:
“Let me just tell you something about Brody. If there was no television, this guy would be living in a tree.”

The cherry on top was when Dave tells Lauren she’s the problem, and she just sits there like a deer in the headlights. She literally has no clue what just hit her -as if there was supposed to be a script to the show!
Speaking of deer, LC and the entire Hills ‘cast’ should go hang out with one…on a busy highway.

Click here to watch the video

Continue Reading: Letterman rips LC a new one

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John:
Here at Derober, we’ve been riding L.C. pretty hard (and not in a good way). But it looks like we might be eating clown shoes on this one. Recently, L.C. was very nice to a special autograph-seeker. Thanks for the story, Taylor

I work out at Lauren’s gym in Hollywood. She has a personal trainer there (whose sooo hot btw). Lauren keeps to herself mostly. I left the gym a couple days ago and there was a boy outside in a wheelchair with his mom holding an US Magazine. He was probably only 8 years old. The issue was the one with Lauren, Audrina, and Whitney in pink dresses. I knew Lauren was finished working out because I saw her in the locker room and I just had to stick around to see what she’d do.
Lauren Walked out and the boy’s mom got her attention by saying, “Miss Conrad, this is my son, Eddie. He’d love your autograph. Lauren stopped and went up to Eddie and gave him a big hug! Eddie smiled and said, “Hi L.C.! ”
Lauren was really nice to Eddie. She talked to him about school. I guess Eddie is in second grade. Anyway, Lauren autographed the US Magazine. She said, “I can’t believe I’m autographing an US!” Then Lauren signed Whitney and Audrina’s name as well. She said “I’m authorized to sign for the girls in absentia” whatever that means. Then she gave Eddie her bracelet which was made from old typewriter keys and said, “Here’s something to remember me by, Eddie”. The mom even cried.
I have to say, I was pretty impressed with how Lauren handled herself. I’m sure she made that little boy’s day. She even made mine in a weird little way.

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:

According to an interview with Canada’s National Post Lauren Conrad

won’t date guys that are in reality TV shows. The hippocrate Conrad said,

Dating [on The Hills] is hard because, personally, I don’t really want to date a guy that wants to be on a reality show, but those are the only kind of guys I can date,

Really?! That’s funny coming from a woman who whores herself out the the world every day on a scripted reality TV show. Get off your high horse. Who are you to judge other people who are pursuing a career via reality TV. Don’t get me wrong, I hate all of you. But I’m not exactly on reality TV myself am I? So I can say that. In the meantime, do yourself a favor. Find a nice little canyon and throw yourself in it. And on the decent down remember not to criticize other people for throwing themselves off cliffs. Hippocrate.

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“If I wanted to be an actress, I’d go on a scripted show and make a lot more money.”

Dee:
With season 3 of The Hills over, rumors about season 4 are flying. You’ve heard about the possible Kristen Cavallari reunion. Derober is learning that MTV might soon have to open their purses and let Lauren Conrad rummage around a bit for loose change. A Derober spy at MTV (who hates her job, her boss, and MTV), says that Lauren and her agent want some serious money for season 4. Lauren is getting paid an average of $20,000 per episode (MTV pays by the season, not the episode.) With the show’s success on the rise, Lauren is looking to double her salary (at least). We contacted MTV and they flatly denied this was the case. Yeah, Lauren probably wants less money. Dumb asses.
John:
MTV underpays the talent. Always have, always will. I’m on LC’s side on this! Remember when the Osborne’s stuck it to MTV for $20 million? We can only hope LC is going for the gold here.