Hollywood Halloween: A weekend introspective

 

Lindsay Lohan
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Photo courtesy of worth1000.com

Paris Hilton

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Photo courtesy of worth1000.com

Kiera Knightley

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Photo courtesy of worth1000.com

Gwen Stefani

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Photo courtesy of worth1000.com

Carrot Top

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Photo courtesy of worth1000.com

Bob ‘The Bitch’ says:
Anyone who knows me knows that I never really celebrated my childhood, and therefore much like Michael Jackson I go to great lengths to re-live my childhood over any chance I get. What better time then Halloween–LOVE IT!! And I would like to thank our good friends over at worth1000.com for providing us with the already done photoshopped images of celebs for Halloween. They are good, we know. Enjoy Halloween everybody…you know I will.

Where have I seen this before…?

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Photo courtesy of intouchweekly.hollywood.com

John says:
Oh yeah, that’s right, K-fing-Fed. I said it before, Lindsey Lohan is just a few steps away from taking Britney’s coveted ‘I’m subconsciously trying to date my dad’ award. And she’s wisely following all of Britney’s guidelines on how to do it: step 1–get white trash boyfriend–check; step 2–take all the drugs you can find–check; step 3–gain a healthy 50 pounds…ahh, still gotta work on that one Lohan. And according to OK! magazine, Lindsay Lohan is now engaged to new boyfriend, Ryan Giles, the snowboarding, ass-clown that’s been arrested numerous times already. And did I mention that she met him in REHAB? Are you kidding, is this an ‘I’m angry at my parents’ phase that Lohan is trying to get outta her system or is she just plain retarded? As you can see, I went with the latter conclusion.

Leo says:
She may be mildly retarded, but let’s not forget how unreasonably hot she is. This trumps all.

Lindsay Lohan is completely broke. 7 mil up the nose. Back in LA to make a quick buck.

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Possibly a Waitress/Part-time dealer?

Photo courtesy of planethiltron.com

Or maybe…

John Says:
Here is the breakdown according to Sun: Lilo dropped a cool mil on a hotel stay (1 year), $137,000 on two rehab stints, $70,000 on personal grooming, $500,000 on drugs (some estimate 1M), and 3.8 million on two properties which she can no longer afford. By Christmas, Lilo will be signing autographs at convention centers for beer money. Lilo has to make a quick buck fast. We’re taking bets at the office. She is currently staying with Tom Gorres, the executive producer of ‘I know who killed me’. Derober has learned that prior to her last trip to rehab, Lilo was secretly being passed around Malibu, staying in various guest homes like an orphan. She was kicked out of one when a maid discovered that Lohan had tossed the whole place. “There was blood everywhere,” said one of our sources. Good luck with your new burden, Tom.

Leo Says:
Broke? I dunno’. Lohan just walked out of a salon two hours ago and dropped $900. I think she’s got some money stashed away somewhere. But the real question is how do you spend $900 at a salon unless you are bumping lines of blow while letting your nails dry. Mani, peti, coki.

Lohan Picks a Pumpkin At Rehab…Wait a Minute

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Photo courtesy of thesuperficial.com

The Derobers were almost fooled into believing that Lindsay Lohan was on the upswing as she picked a seemingly innocent pumpkin at rehab. But thankfully for us, our trusty X-ray machine found out that she’s back to her old habits. Cocain, pills, unsanitary needles, vibrators (ok vibrator), were all spotted lodged deep into the sinister pumpkin. But on the brightside, if Lohan keeps this up she may eventually unseat the ‘Clusterfuck Queen” in Britney Spears. Keep it up Lohan, you’re right on track.

Just in. Lindsay Lohan not coolest girl in rehab.

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Poor Lindsay really isn’t even that popular in her little rehab pod. Our sources tell us that Prozac Jane is always amazing the group with her coy observations. And Nervous Jane made an ashtray in pottery class the other day that was not only chic, but functional. Rehab prom is just around the corner. Rumor has it that if Depressed Jenny can keep from killing herself, she’s a shoe-in.