Derober

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Oh yeah, family reunions and anonymous odors. Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson might be two despicable human beings but dammit they’re good for a laugh. I look at these two and see more than just the obvious (clothed munch boxs), I see hope. Hope of a future free from scrutiny and ridicule. Hope of a life without materialistic values and frivolous goods. Hope of..ahhh f#ck it I’m just messing around. Hahaha, I hope these two get pwnd by a mack truck full of explosives right in the middle of what ‘was’ a great date. Hopefully they’re laughing at that very moment.

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Darby Gunpowder:
Barack Obama’s camp jumped on society’s bandwagon and announced they don’t want to be associated with Lindsey Lohan. Flame-junk recently went on a rant about her deep rooted hatred for Sarah Palin and John McCain on her MySpace page calling Palin a “media obsessed homophobe”. This would have been considered great free press for Obama except for the fact that nobody likes Lohan, therefore, nobody listens to the white noise that comes out of her mouth. The Chicago Sun-Times reports:

However, a top source in the Barack Obama team tells me the actress ”is not exactly the kind of high-profile star who would be a positive for us.”
Given Lohan’s past problems, plus ongoing brushes with controversy, I’ve learned the campaign quietly told the actress ”thanks, but no thanks,” but in far more diplomatic terms.

If you actually want to read Lohan’s nonsensical rant, you can read it after the jump.
Continue Reading: Obama to Lohan: shut the f@*#k up

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Darby Gunpowder:
Samantha Ronson announced that it and Lindsey will be married by Christmas. The Sun reports,

Sam used her DJ slot at top LA hotel and night spot Chateau Marmont to announce the news, telling clubbers: “By the end of this year, my love will be Mrs Ronson.”
She added: “Tonight shows the power of a woman – to underestimate that is to underestimate the world.”

I can’t say I’m surprised. It seems the ‘God Particle’ was indeed found by those smart people in Switzerland this week. A Black Hole was created and has already started sucking common sense out of the air. Hopefully, it sucks STD’s and Spencer Pratt out next.

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Darby Gunpowder:
Apparently there was a fashion show going on during Fashion Week in NYC, but the only thing I noticed was LiLo’s chesticles in full effect. While pondering my purpose on earth, I thought to myself, what if Lindsey Lohan was flat chested? Would she be an once of famous? I honestly don’t think so…
I also think to myself, do I have an unhealthy obsession with female mammalian? Yes, yes I do.

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John:
Lindsay Lohan recently got rid of everything she owns except for her nipples and black tank tops. Fine with us. Lindsays carreer isn’t going anywhere so you might as well fall back on the one thing that you still have going for you, your hose-hounds. Rihanna on the other hand just had a little wardrobe malfunction. She has since covered the kittens but these photos will live forever. Forever!

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